Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and Fibromyalgia (FM) Humor
Those of us with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) or Fibromyalgia find life very discouraging at times. Laughter is the best medicine so read this and laugh!
I know that this is off the subject of frugal living, but since I have CFS and Fibromyalgia, I thought it might give others who are in the same boat a good laugh.
When you have an illness like CFS it always helps to have a little humor in your life. For those of you who have CFS or Fibromyalgia I hope you enjoy these. If you don’t have CFS or Fibromyalgia, not all of these will makes sense to you! Tawra (T.J.)
If you wonder what CFS and Fibromyalgia are, you might want to read our post About Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.
CFS/FM Serenity Prayer
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept
The things I cannot change,
The courage to change
The things I can,
And the wisdom to hide
The bodies of Doctors I shot
When they said,
“You’re perfectly healthy,
It’s All In Your Head.”
This lady has one of the funniest CFS stories… she finished shopping, and went out to find her car! She said she walked up and down the parked cars, row by row, but could not find her station wagon. After 15 minutes, she got into such a panic, she began checking cars at random, to see if she could find an open door. Just before she was about to call 911, she saw a van, which looked familiar… It WAS her van, and the station wagon had been traded in months ago! Author Unknown
On my gravestone, I want to say “I told you I was sick.” – Tom Waits
You May Have Fibromyalgia If…
- you forget spending the whole New Year’s Evening with your husband!
- you are in your own jeep, and stop for gas, however, you can’t remember where the gas tank is located until another customer shows you!
- you complete your whole grocery shopping excursion while wearing a soft-blue-gel ice pack on top of your head, while your husband follows 3 steps behind you!
- you are constantly doing ‘head’ counts of your own children, and pets! (Ha! I do this ALL the time (and I only have two kids)!! T.J. :-)
- you leave every day for work using the front door, but must climb back into your home using a window after your work day is over!
- you rub a whole tube of Ben Gay all through your scalp to help your migraine! (Bad, Bad idea!!!)
- you tell the same story more than 3 times to the same person!
- you make your two monthly mortgage payments to the wrong bank EVERY month, having to go back out the next day to switch them!
- you go to the movie store with your fiance to choose a movie, and after picking the one of your choice, he politely tells you the two of you saw it the previous weekend!
- you drive 60 miles for your monthly support meeting… only to find out, you are a week early! (HA! This actually happened to me once! T.J.)
You Know You Have CFS When…
…when you are cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of by the police.
…you have a choice of two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home earlier.
…you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
…you don’t worry about avoiding temptation. With CFS, it will avoid you.
…getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot.
…you’re sitting in a rocker and you can’t get it started.
…you don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along.
…you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.
…the doctor says “I have good news and bad news — the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac…”
…you go to make toast and nothing happens. You’ve plugged in the can opener.
…you say to your wife, “Good morning, Mary”…and her name is Sharon.
…you have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
…you become exhausted trying to blow out the candles on your birthday cake.
…you forget your twin sister’s birthday.
…you realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your arms instead of deodorant.
…you put both contact lenses in the same eye.
…there is a big basket at the bottom of the stairs full of stuff waiting to go upstairs. — David White
…it takes you longer to get up the energy to go to the store than the completed task takes you. — sassyj
…you feed your pets, then sit down and try to decide if it is really worthwhile to get up again just to feed yourself. — Sandy Flake
…you cut off all your hair because you’re too tired to wash/style it anymore. — Shyrell Melara
…you go to the store to get some cosmetics and write your check out to “Wallpaper” instead of “Walmart.” — Sheri (HA! I do this ALL the time! T.J.)
… to unlock your car, you pull out a garage door opener from your purse, aim it at the key slot on your car door, click away, and then stand there in a stupor, wondering why the door wont open. — Sheri
… you decide that tap water is ok, because the new gallon jug of bottled water is on the floor and it’s still full. — Elsie
… you go upstairs to have a bath, only to realize the bath plug is downstairs…so you decide to have a bath tomorrow instead. — gossamer
… you continue watching Martha Stewart reinvent the brick because the remote is out of the hand grope area. — Christa (How true, How true! T.J.)
Why there is no Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Day
Nobody could remember when CFS / Fibromyalgia Day was.
Nobody could remember the color of the ribbons.
We couldn’t find a ribbon color that wasn’t already used that coordinated with all colors of sweats.
The ribbon’s pin pushed on a trigger point.
Patients with Fibromyalgia couldn’t fold the ribbon into the proper shape.
How could there be an awareness day for something that doesn’t exist?
Patients with Fibromyalgia are too depressed to get out of bed and attend a rally.
Social Security would use the ability to rally as proof of our ability to work.
Everyone kept getting paper cuts trying to fold all the flyers.
The bags carrying our meds were too heavy to carry.
No one wanted to leave home overnight because they couldn’t pack their beds.
Someone had to hold the planning meeting, and nobody’s house was clean enough.
Someone set up a massage booth, and it got so crowded it collapsed. Since everyone was in the booth at that time, there was no one left to rally.
Everyone wanted the same bumper stickers *See, I Told You I Was Sick!* and the printer ran out!
There weren’t enough porta-potties in the state for the folks with Irritable Bowel Syndrome!
The politicians suddenly realized the size of our voting block, and their media trucks filled all the parking spots.
Some doctor said it’s all in your head but they never found the body.
The booth offering *Chocolate Diet Pills* ran out in ten minutes.
The people using TENS units shorted out the Pacific power grid.
10 percent of the crowd went into flare at the same time, and the resulting glow melted the ice caps at both poles!
CFS And Shopping
You come out of the grocery store and look for your Suburban. As you are looking, you notice your husband’s car in the parking lot. After wondering why your husband came to the grocery store too, you remember that you drove his car to the store.
Submitted by Tina J. – Thanks, Tina!
Reader e-mail about CFS and Fibromyalgia Humor:
Thanks so much for the FM/CFS humor page. I’ve sent it to friends family and posted in my medicine closet. It helps other understand what we with CFS/FM deal with in a lighthearted way.
When I was 15, it was growing pains.
At 25 I was a lazy over-achiever.. or was it drugs…
Age 35 I was told to have a baby, stop working so hard and get counseling for hypochondria.
45 years old… premenopausal, overweight, unmotivated – actually the doctor called me old, fat and lazy.
50 – In the last ten years I have: gotten my masters in health science, seen the last of my seven foster children become productive adults, learned to do sport massage from a wheelchair/paddle a kayak/jump a mountain bike, renovated two houses, married the bestest fella in the world, and TRIED to explain to the world why I have two speeds – “get out’ de way she’s a commin’ thru” and “no, no.. I’m quite all right, just allow me to lay here on the grass/floor/stairs for a couple minutes and I’ll creep up with you in a bit”.
So my new doctor tells me “memory loss is just a normal part of aging, build up your stamina, lift weights, jog, take a more active interest in life”.
And through it all… it’s not that hot- well you were fine yesterday? – come on! just a little more – why don’t you take a break, but first… – you’re too sensitive – how long are you going to just sit there? – WELL! if you don’t WANT to be with us… – if you’d just pay attention you’d remember these things…. And the kicker…
What did you do all day?!?!?
Ya’ gotta laugh. Thanks again!
I was just reading this morning an article in a health newsletter that I get that dark fruits like red apples, blueberries, cherries, red grapes and black berries might help those people with CFS. Something to do with them being loaded with a flavonoid called Quercetin. Apparently a university in South Carolina has found that this flavonoid can help you overcome the weariness that comes with CFS.
I just thought I would pass this on. I am sure you have probably tried everything you have heard of or read.
I cannot imagine how this would feel having to live with both CFS and Fibromyalgia. God bless and try to have a good Memorial Day weekend.
Thanks Carol for the tip. These things are usually worth a try at least.
Well, I have been suffering for over 10 years. There are good days and bad days. The rheumatologist I have been seeing for a year now diagnosed me with fm, bursitis and arthritis. We are doing shots in my knees and hips right now. I tried yoga and messed up my neck so badly it took physical therapy and massage to get me straight again.
I’m always trying something new, a better eating plan, a new medication, but I just seem to be stuck with this. But there are worse things to have. I thank God I don’t have cancer, diabetes, heart disease. But yes, people just don’t understand that if I do this, then I can’t do that. Thanks for the laughs! I try to laugh as much as I can, because I do believe that is the best medicine.
I know how you feel Rachel. I tried it all too. One day I was too weak to fight it and try any more and just prayed I am to weak to fight I just am sick and I have to come to grips with it. After that things slowly started to change. When I was sick I would allow myself or give myself permission to be sick and just relax till the pain when away. A strange thing happened. I started having better days and more of them because I wasn’t using what little energy I had on trying to figure out how to fight the pain and to make myself well.
In some ways it seems to be the opposite of what everyone says to do – be brave, fight on, don’t give up but for my illness this was making matters worse because I used all my strength like I said on fighting on instead of relaxing and accepting my illness. Once I relaxed I wasn’t wearing myself out as much. Stress always makes things worse and sometimes we don’t realize it but good attitudes (like you can over come this, try and try again) can be very stressful. This change in my mind set and attitude – even if it seems to be a little negative- worked better for me then all the better eating plans, vitamins or meds put together did.
Thanks sooo much for the laughs! It’s another sleepless night for me(too much pain)and I really needed the humor. All of those jokes are so true. I too live very frugally due to my inability to work. This site is going into my favorites! Thanks again.
Thank you for all the humor. this is the first time I have laughed about my chronic fatigue and fibro and it did me a world of good. God Bless all of you that live with this every day as it is hell.
Glad you enjoyed it Mary. I saw a cartoon the other day with showing someone with CFS starting the day. I showed her laying in bed, finally raising up on one elbow, bending over to put her socks on then her shirt and pants still not getting off of the bed then the last picture showed her flopped back on the bed resting again. All from getting dressed. I related all to well. It was so funny.
Me, too! Although most days this last month I haven’t made it to the getting dressed stage…getting coffee, water and breakfast biscuits does me in…
Oh I remember those days so well Cherie and still have a few now but the good thing they aren’t quite as often. I made myself worse with worry and frustration of trying to get better. I remember meeting a man who had what I had and he was going to work and was even speaking on the subject and I thought what is wrong with me that I can’t do as well as him. Well he had been sick for many years and it had taken him awhile to get where he was. He could work because he had a couch in his office to rest when he wanted and could not show up for work when he didn’t feel like it. It seems to take forever but Tawra and I can now semi function. We will never be able to run a marathon or hike for hours in the mountains but we can now feed ourselves and get dressed most days so don’t get discouraged there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I use to get so discouraged comparing myself to others who said they had CFS and they just did this or that or took this or that and were cured. I would think why is this not working for me. After so many years, doctors and treatments later I have figured out that if someone says they took this or ate only this and got cured they probably didn’t have it in the first place. When I was on the study with the CDC 500 people applied and all had been diagnosed with CFS by their doctor and yet only 80 of us got on that means almost 80% didn’t have it. That is why different diets and products work for these people.
You sound like you really have it. People with it mention certain things. Not so much that they are tired or can’t sleep but things like you did – can;t get your coffee or water or the biscuits. It is a very scary feeling not to have the strength to be able to get yourself water or food. I mean there were many times I needed to go to the bathroom but had to lay 30 minutes or more trying to get the strength to go into the bathroom. As hard as it is try to hang in there and relax.
This made me laugh- and a real laugh, not a fake one. Thank you for brightening up my day. Today is a painful one too. Here’s another…
What’s bothering you now?
Again? That has been everyday this week.
Welcome to my life.
Maybe you’re pregnant.
I don’t have energy for sex.
I was diagnosed 3yrs ago when my son was 15 YA and I was in menopause what a nightmare yes it ruined our life for a while I did not know what I was dealing with as well as my 15year old, double trouble I was in, I didn’t know who to address 1st or what BLAH! We lived and he is ok now at 171/2 sure me having this messed us up since we were just getting back on our feet from the recession then wham! Kicked right back down. I must say I did enjoy the laughs so did my son thanks I do take a lot of standard process to stay sane and funtion
Thanks for the giggles! I’m dealing with all of that plus psoriatic arthritis, so some days I don’t know what to blame for what pain! Sucks mightilly!
I feel your pain – literally- Marna. I was sitting here a few minutes ago and suffering with some foot and leg pain I have been dealing with for a few years now then my neck and back started in really bad a couple of days ago. Anyway I was here almost laughing because I could not decide which pain was hurting the most and how to even deal with either one of them. Like my son said one time after having toe surgery, oral surgery, knee surgery and then gall bladder surgery – I literally hurt from my head to my toe. : )
When I finally asked my PMD if she thought it would be appropriate to go on disability, she told me she thought I should have the two years ago when I asked her to write a letter to teach part-time instead of full time…. It’s now been nine years and I’m still grieving the loss of teaching. I’d see about teaching health at community college, just one section, but I’m not sure I’d be well enough the entire semester…
Loved the feed the cat then wonder if you want to feed yourself…but the cat now won’t eat until I do! See, this is why the cat is worth the allergies! And the gallon jug of water…I hate tap water so I went thirsty until someone got home to get it… 8-/
You know if you love to teach Cherie I was at a thing for the juvenile delinquent center the other day and they were so excited over anyone who was willing to teach the kids classes on anything. They said the kids love to learn things like table manners, how to iron, cooking, crafts and sewing, grooming or any thing. One man there takes the kids fishing and teaches them how to fish. What was so neat about it is the kids seemed so appreciative of the volunteers unlike things I have seen at the public schools where the kids tend to have a bored “what ever” attitude.
Many don’t realize these centers have a whole section of kids who have not done anything seriously wrong but they have had to be taken out of a bad home situation and are trying so hard to improve themselves and be productive.
I was talking to the leaders asking if it was hard on the kids like at Christmas and she said to be honest they had it better at the center because many had never eaten a Christmas dinner or had any Christmas decorations etc.
Something like this would be great because you could pace your classes around what you are able to do. People often think of helping at children’s home and they can get many volunteers but they never think of places like the detention center kids needing help.
Was going to mention too, I drink almost nothing but water because I hate tap water too but have never bought a bottle of water before. I have a long, narrow water jug with a nozzle on it that I keep in the fridge. Once the water sits for 12 hours it tastes as good as bottled water. You don’t have to lift a pitcher or jug and just need to push the nozzle for cold good tasting water. So might try something like that. People don’t realize that the only difference from most bottle water they buy and tap is the bottled has just been sitting on the shelf for awhile.
Of I have seen those water jugs at Wal Mart and many other places.
I’m newly diagnosed CFS. I learned to laugh about it a couple weeks ago when I tried to flush the toilet with the light switch!
I’ve learned that I can often avoid frustration of forgetting what I was going to do next by repeating it out loud till it’s done. “Brush your teeth… Brush your teeth…” Thankfully I live alone and my cat doesn’t judge. Lol
That is too funny Amy. Sounds like you are getting the hang of it and how to deal with CFS. I have to write everything little thing down to remind myself. The only problem is if I don’t keep scratch paper and pencils all over I can forget what I was going to write down by the time I find one. : ) Tawra and I almost everyday will call each other and by the time the one we are calling answers we can forget what we were calling them for. ” ) I now have to write down what I am calling for or just say can’t remember, will call back when I do.
Hang in there even though we laugh about it all the time there are days when it is hard, frustrating and discouraging dealing with it so it’s ok to allow yourself the feel sick for a bit then pick yourself up (sometimes that means literally : )) and go on.
One thing that helps me too is I make myself a very strict routine and stick to it. Take meds, start coffee, get dressed, eat, brush teeth etc. and don’t change it. I also have a calender that I can look straight at while I am eating with appointments on it. The things I really can’t forget I put in red that way even if I can’t red what it is I see red and know that I have to do something that day or the next day.
I have to let you know. I got onto your website months ago, and remembered liking it. It was so nice to visit your website again today, and enjoy the Humor articles. I had forgotten that your website had Humor articles. Maybe they were what I had enjoyed so much the first time! :)I think it may have also been the reciepies. In any case, great website. And in case, it’s not painfully obvious, I have fibromylgia.
It pains me to tell you this but I totally got your last comment Lori. : ) : ) Oh boy that was a sick joke on my part. : ) : )
Oh, but you are mistaken, Tawra; this IS on-topic! ;-) Most medicine is expensive, but laughter is free. So it is very frugal to take the best medicine for free, right? Therefore, this is all about frugal living. ;-)
Thanks for all the laughs!