Teaching Respect To Children



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Respect others - clean up after yourself

Teaching Respect To Children

Our lives are made up of so many habits, most of which we don’t even realize we have and, whether they’re good or bad, all habits are very hard to change.

I heard a preacher this weekend say if you don’t believe that you are bound by habits and that they are hard to change then try this: Ladies, the next time you shave, start with the leg opposite the one you usually start with. Men, try shaving the opposite side of your face first. Even something that small and unimportant is hard to change.

This is why teaching your children good habits when they are young is so very important.

We often hear about teaching our kids good grooming habits, eating habits and learning habits but one thing I don’t think I have ever heard anyone talk about is teaching your kids respect for the things around them.

 

What do I mean by that? Well here is a list of some things parents often don’t teach their kids about and, in some cases, the parents don’t even do themselves.

  • Set things on a table carefully, making sure you won’t scratch or mar the table by doing so. Find a coaster if you need one.
  • Make sure you don’t have mud on your shoes before coming into a home. Wipe your feet or take off your shoes. Cleaning or replacing carpet is expensive.
  • If you drag a chair or something across a hardwood floor, stop and ask yourself, "Will this scratch the floor?"
  • Don’t jump on furniture. Kids jumping or sitting on the backs and arms of furniture can wear out the furniture ten times faster. Furniture is expensive to replace.
  • Sit gently in a chair. Don’t flop down hard– and especially don’t lean back on the legs of a chair.
  • When using the bathroom, make sure it is left clean and neat for the next person.
  • Don’t write on walls or furniture.
  • Don’t get into someone’s car with mud caked on your feet.
  • When eating food, be sure to use a napkin or a plate so you don’t drop crumbs everywhere, even if all you’re eating is a cookie.

I could go on with examples of things to do when teaching respect to children but I think you get the idea. Because we have so many possessions, a lot of which are disposable, we don’t bother to take care them properly. If they get messed up, it is easier just to buy a new one than it is to take time to teach our children good habits about respecting and taking care of things. As parents we, ourselves, often don’t bother to take the time to take care of things.

The problem with that attitude is that we tend to lose respect for our things and even worst for other people and their things.

There was a reason that the generations that preceded us taught rules, habits and manners to their children. We have thrown so many of those rules and habits away that we can’t even remember what they are or why we had them.

Let’s wake up and look at our habits and our children’s habits. Replace bad habits with some good ones. Start with showing respect for everyone and everything.

      -Jill

P.S. Just after I wrote this, I saw a show where the children had floor to ceiling shelves full of toys. What was their favorite pastime? Throwing toys out a second story window to see if they would break. They knew that, if they broke the toys, mom and dad would buy them more.

In the show, they took all but 10 toys away from the children and guess what? The children were so careful with those 10 toys because they knew those toys were all they were getting.

 

Photo By: Gray Marchiori-Simpson

Comments

  1. Linda Gertig says

    In regard to teaching children to respect things. Please be clear in your own mind and in that of your your child that we love people. We take care of things so we will continue to be able to use them but we do not value them more than we value each other.

  2. Cynthia Crawford says

    Along this line, there is a wonderful children’s book titled, ALWAYS WEAR CLEAN UNDERWEAR. It gives the reasons WHY adults make up rules for kids; not to be arbitrary, but mainly to show consideration for others’ feelings and hard work in providing for a good life.

  3. harriet says

    I can’t agree more about teaching children respect for furniture. So often parents tell me that they buy cheap furniture because their kids are just going to ruin it anyway. Well, they certainly well if you have that attitude! My kids were raised to respect my antique furniture, to use coasters, and to take care of their things.

  4. says

    Respect shouldn’t just be for those things we use everyday, it is also those little things we say to other people. My two year old grandson already knows how to say thank you, your welcome and bless you when someone sneezes. My daughter, grandson and I were in a department store a few weeks ago and a lady next to me sneezed and Jacob said “Bless You”. She looked at me and asked if it was Jacob who said that. She was so surprised to hear a toddler with manners she was simply tickled pink and left the store in tears. We forget that kindness is a way of showing respect also.

  5. Dolores Hayney says

    Please teach your children that when using a Condo Swimming Pool to be respectful of adults already in the pool. Do not jump in near them and splash them and if they ask you not to do something, please be mindful of them. A Condo Swimming pool is for everyon
    e’s use and is not your own back yard swimming pool. Most visiting parents do not read the rules or try to enforce them as far as their children go.

  6. says

    Respect for others and their things are all intertwined. I mainly wrote on respecting things today because I have written so much on respecting others in past articles and have heard others teaching that but rarely have I heard people talking about respecting things. I just say this so that those of you who haven’t been with us for long or haven’t read all of my other things won’t get confused on the point I am trying to make.

  7. JoyB says

    Thank you for posting this! We have always tried to teach our daughter about respect (among other things). I was thrilled to learn that her kindergarten class is focusing on this, too. I really enjoy receiving your emails. I don’t often check out your website, but when I visited here today to share this article on Facebook, I realized how much I was missing out on. Thank you for creating this website.

  8. Cashier says

    Parents, where are your parenting skills when it comes to teaching your children proper behavior while shopping in a store? I have had kids throw stuff at me, swear at me, almost have been knocked down by children running in the store, been almost bankrupted by frequent trips to the doctor because of mom dragging sick kids into the store with strep throat, cleaned up vomit from sick children,
    dealt with parents who have turned me into management because I asked politely for their children to walk,
    almost got fired from a parent who complained to management
    about speaking to their kid, have come home at night with ringing ears after enduring 8 hours of screaming kids. If you can’t teach your children proper behavior at a store keep them out of there! It says to me you do not have sense God gave a goose to control your bratty kids.

    • Candice says

      I can completely understand your frustration, having cashiered myself. But at the same time, I think that your comment was quite disrespectful in itself (since we are talking about disrespect.)

      I’ve been on the other side – the sick kid with no one to watch them while I run out for medicine so I have to drag them along. I’ve had my kids, usually quite under control, suddenly freak out and before I can rein them back in again, watched an employee frown at me as if I was the devil’s mother because my child isn’t acting like a fully grown, mature adult.

      Obviously I’m not condoning the horrid behavior I too have seen in stores at times. But I think the lack of respect can go both ways. Just as you work in a position where you are forced to deal with kids, I have to go to the store knowing I may be forced to deal with judgmental people! :)

  9. rut says

    Thank you! My son and grandchildren get offended that I am picky about my possessions, these things you brought up are exact problems with my grandchildren, I love them but I want them to respect my possessions, it shows a lack of respect not to do so. I was brought up this way,that these are my blessings therefore, take care of them.

  10. says

    A lot of parents close to my age have really dropped the ball when it comes to respect. And maybe even a little in the generation before me. I am 30 and my oldest is 10. My dad was very gentlemenly…(if that’s a word, but you get what I mean.) Men opened doors for women in his time. (especially for mom’s with kids, come on!!) I told some “men” last month at Walmart to watch their mouths. They were using EXTREMELY vulgar language right behind us in line!! Really?? Can you see these children?? Our whole society has changed from how can I help others to how can I help myself, get ahead, get more for ME?
    Also (another walmart story, I may be there too much)my daughter and I were walking through the parking lot and this man started blowing his horn at us because he wanted the parking spot we were in front of. I guess he was afraid someone else would get it. I stopped and looked right at him and he angrily threw his hands in the air. My 10 year old said “Chivalry is dead” I’m not even sure where she heard that, but I agreed with her and we moved on. I agree that if we don’t teach our kids to respect others and property (no matter who it belongs to) we are doing them more of a disservice than we will ever know.

  11. Bea says

    I like to read old books and magazines and even watch old TV shows, and I learned that children in schools use to have classes in “Deportment”. That was a class where they learned how to have manners in all areas. Manners at table, around adults and others, and just plain manners. I wonder why schools stopped having those classes??? Some stupid attempt at being politically correct or separation of Church and state or something? But we all can see the horrors of adults and children having no manners in so many areas of their lives. SAD!

  12. Ruth Anne says

    Thank you so much for this article. As a new mother, I am often saddened to see children (my nieces and nephew included) who have no respect for authority and/or things. I have been given nasty looks, snide comments and even berated by some of these parents who find it appalling that I am teaching my “talking/hearing” child (12months) sign language so she can say please and thank you before she can actually say those things. When I introduce someone to her it’s always Miss, Mr or Mrs so and so – even if the person is a child, because they are older and deserve the recognition. That is how I was taught and it surprises me that older adults find it disturbing that we are teaching her manners and what is (respect and manners) and is not acceptable (screaming, throwing tantrums, rude behaviour, etc…). Thank you for the reminder that it is up to US parents to change the future generation or else be guilty of allowing the future generations to disrespect people and things the way the current generation does.

    • says

      Ruth is was always taught to say Mr. or Mrs. and I am glad to say my grandkids have been taught the same. People think it is demeaning to force their kids to say Mr. or Mrs to someone but what the they don’t realize it learning to say that is a subtle way teaching kids to respect someone else especially those in authority. What happens then is when you show respect it is one of those things which bounces back at you and you are then respected which helps your self esteem and self confidence.Teaches, friends, family members, anyone respond in a much better way to a child who is respectful then one who isn’t.
      They are doing a grave injustice to their children by not teaching their kids respect because no one will respect their children then.

  13. says

    My children are grown up and my only grandchild is 15 years old, and we are all appalled by the lack of manners in today’s world. I feel that too many parents have abdicated any responsibility for their children and that the children emulate that behavior. So many of the problems in our country today are due to lack of accepting responsibility, lack of integrity, self-serving and self-absorbed people, incredible greed, and so much rage and anger fueled by the dreadful lack of good manners in our society. Your article hits the nail right on the head. We must teach our children respect for all things as a beginning if we are ever to return to better times.

  14. Kitty welton says

    I enjoyed the limiting toys note at the end. (not that I didn’t like the whole article). I have a toy box for my grandkids. The rule at my house us pick them before you leave. If I pick them up I put them in the trash. I also get hew toys when someone leaves their toys at my house. I have had grands insist their parents turn around quickly after a visit because they forgot to pick up toys. The parents always turn around. They know I will toss the toys.

  15. Jackie says

    My children grew up with very little in the way of toys. Many of their toys came from either resale shops or yard sales. My daughter’s favorite items were books and she would take care of them like they were gold. My oldest boy had a toy elephant that he loved. He took good care of it but he did not listen to mom and took it into a reasale shop and dropped it. By the time we got back into the store someone else had gotten it. He asked me to buy him a new one. My answer NO! He learned real fast to listen to mom after that. My youngest found a teddy bear that was missing a eye when he was just a little thing. He wanted it so bad the person who had the yard sale gave it to him because she was sure she would never sell it. He took it home and put a large bandage over the eye. He called him BoBo Bear. He still has that bear in the attic where he says it is safe. My children are in their 30′s now. I am proud of them. They are respectufl and careful of things that they and others own.
    One of my biggest gripes today is that you can’t tell a child NO or you hurt their ego. I say hurt their ego’s a bit more and they will grow up to be Ladies and Gentlemen not thugs and bums.

  16. Liz says

    Having spent 11 years trying to get pregnant and finally having a son, we wanted to give him everything we possibly could. Several years ago, we realized we were making a very disrespectful and ungrateful child by giving him something everytime we went to the store…even if it was a small package of M&M’s. My husband and I each grew up with 4 siblings, and there was never a lot of money to spend on things not really needed. So, we started having him do chores around the house for pay. Now, when we take our 10 -yr.-old to the store, if he has money, he can spend it. If he doesn’t, then we don’t make purchases for his “wants”. This really came in handy when my husband was laid off, since money has been especially tight. Our son is now realizing if he wants something really nice (and expensive), he’s going to have to save his money to get it.

  17. Lea Stormhammer says

    When it comes to toys, gifts, “wants”, etc. we always tell the kids they can “Put it on their List”. The list comes out at Christmas and their Birthday (conveniently 6 months apart – no we didn’t plan that!). Many things get crossed off because they know that they can only ask for 5 things. We usually buy 2, depending on price and budget. The kids don’t whine at the store because they know they can put it on their list – now they ask “Hey, Mom (or Dad)! Can I put this on my list?” My answer is always “Of course.” since they know that having it on the list just lets us know that we hear that it’s something they’re interested in.

    My daughter wants an American Girl Doll something fierce. So she’s saving up for it. In the meantime, she has to prove to us that she can take care of it by taking care of her existing dolls for 1 year before we will let her spend her money on that. So far we’ve had to start over twice, but at least she’s making progress!

    Love this articel Jill!
    Lea

  18. Grandma says

    no respect from my neighbours children but then they don’t respect their mother either.
    the other night I was looking out the window and saw 3 girls about to pick my last remaining roses.
    Not wanting to get angry with them I called out that if they wanted some apples they could have all they wanted.
    Great they left my roses.
    Went out today to pick up ones that were on the ground and as I was picking up good ones I kept finding some with one bite taken out and tossed on the ground.
    Why wouldn’t they have taken them to their yard to eat them and then toss them in the garbage?

  19. Jan C says

    I recently went on a wedding cruise with my nephew, sister-in-law and some others. I was in the cabin and at the dinner table at night with the children. I regretfully say that only 1 of the 5 children had and used any of their manners. Since I was only their aunt, I hesitated at first to tell them anything other than place your napkin on your lap. I figured it was their grandma’s place to do that. On the 5th day, we had the 4 children at our table for breakfast. It was the most enjoyable meal of the trip. I laid out the directions as soon as we sat down. “I am only your Aunt, but when you are with me and your Grandma, you do the things that we ask you to do. Mom and Dad have left you to us as our responsibility and you need to do what we tell you when Mom and Dad aren’t here.” Fortunately, they then listened to us. The lack of manners in small children appals me especially in restaurants. They throw their food and have no respect for anybody even their parents.

  20. Grandma says

    When I was a child I was taught to MR. and MRS. everyone.
    I was prepared to do this my children.
    Then we moved to a small town which was so totally different it seemed impossible to do this.
    Joe had Cathy living with him this month. They had a fight so next week Janet was living with Joe. and Cathy was living with Arnold.
    Now this was hard enough for an adult to keep up with let alone children 6 and 3 years of age.
    Who was Mrs. Joe today?
    The boys were taught to be respectful and never comment on who was with whom, but first names were used.
    26 years later this is still the attitude.
    Did I struggle with this change? you bet I did.
    Could I have changed it? I never figured out how.
    To this day I still call my aunts and uncles by aunt noel and uncle barnie or what ever their names are and so do my children.
    My sons open car doors for me and take my arm if I am having trouble walking. They do the heavy lifting when shopping and they taught their friends to do the same for me.
    It isn’t what you call someone it is more how you behave around them that counts.

  21. Lisa says

    Dear Jill,

    This is such a good article, and topic for conversation. People, indeed have moved away from teaching manners to their children, but I can not help but wonder if it is because so many of us today do not fully understand ‘respect’ and ‘manners’. Something has been bothering me for a while now, and I would like to open it up for your comments or for other people’s ideas.

    Church. Church is all about family (or I think it should be), and I think it is great when I see so many people bring their children to the pews. However, when someone has a cranky baby or very young child that will not be quiet, what should everyone in this situation do? And I do mean everyone.

    As I am sitting there trying to listen to a sermon, I would like to be able to hear it. On the other hand, I don’t want to ask someone to leave because of their child. After all, this is the house of the Lord, where we can all come together to be closer to God. Also, I do not wish to deny a person the chance to A) listen to the sermon as well, or B) teach their own children how to come to a public place and be quiet and have respect. I feel it is important that we as a society be patient enough to allow the next generation to be taught. These children cannot learn how to behave and be polite if the parents simply do not bring them to church. And it is not fair to ask someone not to attend for years on end while they have these young children in tow.

    There comes a point though, in any service (church or otherwise), where the child is just too disruptive to hear any of the sermon. Should the minister stop and say something? Should the congregation interrupt a sermon to say “Excuse me, but I really cannot hear this.” And really, if the person with the child simply cannot contain them and also cannot hear what is being said in a sermon, Shouldn’t they be respectful enough of the rest of the congregation to leave the room?

    I feel like this is a topic that is just not being discussed these days. I also feel that respect needs to be given on all sides of this issue. After all, this is OUR future and OUR children we are all shaping.

    What are your thoughts…

    Lisa

    • says

      To me what it amounts to is either I miss out on church or hearing the sermon because I need to take my baby out or not go at all or do I make someone else miss out the sermon because of my baby’s hollering or distraction. It’s my baby and I don’t think I should make someone else do without or “punished” (for lack of a better word) for my responsibility – my baby. One of us has to be disrupted so which one should it be?
      Common sense tells you the one responsible for the child.

      Besides like Bea said how much can the mom really hear? Now that doesn’t mean young mom’s can’t come to church but you may have to go to the cry room or someplace. You can sit at the very back and the minute the child acts up or cries quietly slip out. Bring lots of subtle and quiet things to entertain toddlers like papers to draw with, little pieces of candy to suck, I made a mini photo album with pictures of them, mom, dad, siblings and grandma &grandpas even things like I would wear pieces of jewelry which they could play with and hold their attention.

      I had a pastor once who said parents should start as soon as a child could sit in a high chair to teach them to sit still. At first it may be no more then holding their hands while you say the blessing and to be quiet during that and to slowly have them learn to sit for longer periods so that by the time they are expected to sit in church they will have had some practice.

      One other thing along this line is when I was a young mom and exhausted beyond measure an older friend who worked in the nursery said she didn’t know why they always asked the new mom’s to work in the nursery but that it would be so much nicer if the women with older children and no kids would volunteer to work there to give the poor new moms a break. I appreciated that so much because sometimes it was all I could do to get dressed for church and then to have them ask me to work in the nursery and watch 30 other babies after having been up all night with my baby crying almost would put me over the edge.

  22. Grizzly Bear Mom says

    I figure I respect people’s things as much as I respect them. My niece is teaching her children to be RESPECTED. She and they need to learn to respect, such as not putting your shoed feet on the couch cushions, share your computer like grandma shares her house with you, etc. As for Mrs Smith or Miss Cathy, I go with the regional flow. I understand Miss Cathy demonstrates affection. Mrs Smith is a stranger.

  23. rose says

    lea .. if u look in either target/kmart/or a craft store u might be able to find a generic american girl doll .. they sorta look like the american girl dolls but at a much cheaper price ..
    the only american girl doll i would have wanted was the samantha doll but they dont make her anymore ..
    also, look at the paradise galleries dolls .. they have those kind of dolls but at a reduced price ..
    in fact, i did get a doll (a gift from my daughter) from paradise galleries .. she isnt porcelain but she is vinyl .. she is the best friend brides maid or something like that . she is pretty tall, absolutely gorgeous, light purple dress .. i am not sure if they make her anymore .. but the doll was on sale and for what my daughter paid, it was a true bargain (she was much much cheaper than the american girl doll) ..
    my fav is porcelain dolls and they can be rather expensive but the paradise galleries dolls you can make payments and well .. if the doll is on sale that is even better ..
    of course these arent for playing with (the ones i get)…
    i just went on the website and i dont see her .. of course they dont have the other one i wanted .. they used to have these dolls that represented countries .. so beautiful too .. but i guess they sold out of them .. you might want to try ebay too..
    :D

  24. rose says

    i always taught my kids to say ms/mr(firstname if it was allowed) or ms/mr lastname .. aunt/uncle .. or grandma/grandpa ..
    and yes .. my son, who is 21 yrs of age, still opens doors for ladies .. will carry the packages if he goes out with me, my daughter and the friends .. or any of the ladies in the family .. when he helped out at the dry cleaners my duaghter managed, one of his jobs was to carry out the clothes for the ladies and the elderly ..
    it was instilled in him since he was young .. and this has stayed with him ever since ..
    also, if we go to a restaurant, and yes he wears a ball cap but at the table he immediately takes it off .. out of respect ..
    sorry to hear about what those kids did to the apples .. so sad indeed ..
    the lady next door (she is elderly) .. her sprinkler heads were busted up and thrown around to pieces .. it was a bunch of kids doing havoc in the neighborhood .. she wasnt the only neighbor to be picked on .. we called the police .. and well the kids were arrested, not only for that but for breaking and entering a house way down the other side of the block .. there excuse? .. they told the police they were bored .. BORED! .. yep .. i told the cop maybe they should be put into a boot camp of some kind for the summer (this happened in may b4 the horrible heat was unbearable even at 1am) and let them re-think of their actions when they are bored . .he agreed .. did they go to some kind of rehab/camp place for juveniles? nope .. they got probation (a slap on the wrist) .. told to stay out of trouble and came home with their parents .. my son confronted one of them when he was walking down the street by himself .. he told the boy dont even think about it vandalizing our house .. he wasnt threatning .. but he was firm and let the kid know he wasnt going to take any stuff from him or his friends (hubby is disabled) .. and when my son was talking to the kid, so did the other neighbors come out and confront him .. they were nice but they told the kid to have him and his friends take their “boredness” and go down the road and bother another neighborhood ..
    they were nice but firm .. we havent seen those kids in the neighborhood at all (knocking on wood they stay away) ..
    these arent kids that just moved in the neighborhood either .. and why they bothered that woman i have no clue .. she is still a bondswoman/bounty hunter .. and yep she has guns .. had she been at home (and sometimes she leaves her car at her daughters and is home .. even tho the car isnt there) .. if they broke into her house while she was home she would have shot them) .. and that was what all the men were telling this young boy .. think b4 u do something stupid .. b4 someone might get hurt and choose ur friends more wisely ..
    i have no clue why these things are happening .. maybe its true . the sign of the end of time .. not to be sounding preachy here .. but it makes u wonder ..
    maybe too much tv, games, etc .. like hubby said .. maybe we should set up farm like setting and when these teenagers act up maybe send them to the farms to learn to take care of animals and grow food for the food banks .. not a bad idea .. get them out of their environment ..
    just an idea here ..
    sorry so chatty ..its thursday.. :D
    hhehe :D

  25. Dolores Hayney says

    I read about taking the children to church services and it reminded me of the children at the library. Have things changed since I went to the library as a child. NO one is whispering and people start talking on their cell phones right in front of you as you read in one of the chairs. Kids are runnings and fighting. What has happened to disapline at the libraries? Also I will comment on addressing adults. All adults have a title. Mr., Mrs., Miss, Doctor, Aunt, Uncle,etc. When my kids were little they addressed all adults that weren’t kin with Mr. or Mrs. or Miss. If you didn’t know the marrital state, they were addressed as Miss Mary or Mr. Joe. I know it is hard in this day and age to figure who is married and who is not. Remember we called the Postman, Mr. Postman when we grew up and Mr. Policeman. Where my kids attended school they called the Teachers: Teacher Ann or Teacher Paul and used no last names. That worked out fine.

  26. Bea says

    Lisa, I am Catholic and there are situations in the Church that I go to that can be disruptive and disrespectful to those that want quiet to pray or hear the homily. There have been situations where many people were bringing their cell phones into the Mass for instance, and letting them ring LOUDLY with sometimes very inappropriate songs. It got to the point that the priest had to print in the bulletin that cell phones are not allowed to ring during Mass. People can be absolutely clueless unless something is spelled out for them. There have also been incidents of children running around and going to the restrooms without a parent. That too had to be put in the bulletin to be corrected. As far as noisy children is concerned a parent should either go to a “cry-room” or go into the vestible area if a child is crying or acting up for a prolonged time. That should just be common sense on the parents part. After all how much can a parent listen or participate anyway in prayer when a child is such a distraction to everyone???

  27. Grandma says

    My brother is a pastor in a small church. When he first took over he went in with his talk all planned and thought he was prepared for pretty much anything.
    He was part way through the service when the little ones and the not quite little ones were getting restless. He could see parents glaring at them and everyone was getting uncomfortable.
    Well Alan stopped talking and said “excuse me I need to appologize to the younger members of the congregation”
    Utter silence nobody appologizes to children.
    Well he called them up to the front and told them a story about something probably about Jesus talking to the children. He said he was sorry for not remembering that adults were not the only people in the building.
    He sent them all down with his daughter to the nursery in the basement.
    Sermon went on and he is loved by one and all.
    He always was a good big brother, so it was something I expected from him.
    In the summer they have picnics on the church grounds and you can always find him with a bunch of children teaching them songs we grew up with and telling them stories about what he did with his sisters when he was their age.
    He figured out he was talking over their heads so he brought his head to their level.
    If more adults would think this way instead of glaring the children would be much better behaved.
    Now if we could just work on the adults who bring cell phones to in appropriate places.

  28. Karen says

    I took a road trip with my mother and my two children (ages 5 and 7) to visit extended family. I had rules and clearly spelled out appropriate behaviour/consequences when in the car, when meeting and greeting relatives, and how exactly they were to behave while the adults were having conversation. Even my mom thought I was being too strict and told me so. However, after we returned from our two-week trip didn’t every single family member we visited called my parents and told them how wonderfully behaved my children were!

    I am appalled at what children today get away with and it’s too bad, really. I was lucky I was still on the tail end of old fashioned values (born in 1973).

  29. Grandma says

    I have never felt comfortable with very young children at funerals. Mostly it is their understanding more than their actions.
    Well in the last 5 years my grandchildren have lost 2 great grandfathers and this summer my sister, their great aunt.
    At my fathers funeral my Mia, was just about to turn 2. We were walking around and I was doing the so glad you could come thing. I was holding Mia. Every so often she would ask to get down and would walk over to someone. She did not know these people but she would walk up to them and say “Can I give you a hug so you won’t be so sad?” Nobody turned her down.
    I was amazed that a person who came up to an adults knee’s would have such a wonderful idea of what someone needed.
    Sean was 7 and he followed his dad around shaking hands with people and he offered a few hugs but he is like his dad and is not overly friendly.
    At my sister’s funeral Mia asked to go and when I said she could stay and go swimming at the camp site she said she would like that but there were going to be people there who would be sad and they needed hugs.
    When Cameron was started saying he was hungry she said “we will go get supper after we make sure Great grandma wasn’t so sad,” Then all 3 of them went to find my mom and gave her a hug. Mia went one step further. She said this hug is from me but this one is from Aunt Heather. Mom asked her what she meant and she said Aunt Heather would want you not to cry so she gave me a hug to give to you.
    Mia had only seen Heather a few times as family feelings were not the greatest. So how would she have known about Heather wanting to give my mom a hug?
    Kind of spooky but oh so welcome. Maybe Heather will live on in Mia’s life.
    Children understand more than we know and if we listen we can find out so many wonderful things about them.

  30. rose says

    i want to apologize if i offended anyone with my last post when i typed in s**t.. i should have posted “stuff” instead .. and i do apologize .. normally we dont say such things but when i was typing i was saying what my son said to the rufkin he was talking to ..
    again.. i do apologize..

    also wanted to share .. i think its rude to be on a cell phone in a theater and when people are talking on the phone, please dont eat/chew and talk wiht their mouth full .. i work on the phones and well we arent allowed to mention this to the callers but its a rather annoying and gross ..
    sorry just wanted to share that too ..

    but i do apologize if i offended anyone ..
    thank you :D

  31. Working Mom says

    I’ve never understood how parents can let their children make a huge mess in restaurants and then no one cleans it up before leaving. Do they do this at home? Probably not. Also, I am amazed at the amount of leftovers on their kid’s plates. They order a stack of pancakes and pour syrup all over it. The kid takes 2 bites and then leave the soggy remains. I always make my kids put the syrup on the side and then pack up the leftovers. So, what they teach their kids is that it’s ok to waste food and leave a mess as long as it’s not your home (well, maybe they do it home, too). That breeds a lifetime of disrespect and irresponsibility. Sooooo annoying!

  32. Grandma says

    I had to teach my MIL, respect for not only me but my children and the wait staff all in one dining out experience.
    We had gone to a Chinese Buffet restaurant and my husband and I took the boys 3 & 6 up and got their meal. Then we went back with MIL to get ours.
    She decided that getting the boys things they didn’t like at home would be a good idea.
    She got them fried rice (hard for little ones to get from the plate to the mouth.)
    Soup with great long strands of green stuff.
    And some really spicy Tao CHicken.
    Don and I both told her to not force the issue but being who she was and her personality she knew best.
    Well the boys tried to eat it neatly but it just wasn’t happening.
    A lot ended up in their laps and table and the floor.
    It was a disgusting mess.
    When we paid the bill we asked who would clean it up and were told one of the staff from the kitchen.
    Don gave an extra $20. and said it was for the cleaner.
    When MIL heard this she ranted and raved all the way home about how we shouldn’t have done that because the staff were paid good money to clean up after people.
    My eldest son said Granny it is just good manners to clean up after yourself but at the restauant you can’t so you should say thank you when someone else does it for you.
    After that when ever we took her with us she lived by our rules. she could order anything she wanted but so could the boys.
    And she made sure she said please and thank you to staff,
    Sometimes it is the little ones who teach the adults.

  33. rose says

    i agree grandma .. and well that was very nice what u and ur hubby did .. tipping the person cleaning up the mess …
    i am sure the person cleaning up the mess was very happy to get the tip ..

  34. says

    As soon as my children were old enough to understand right from wrong, I began instilling in them respect for themselves, respect for what they have, & respect for other people & their things.

    They were taught “Yes Ma’am/No Ma’am-Yes Sir/No Sir”; take your shoes off at the door(I don’t give a rat’s rear end how clean they are) & to ALWAYS look the person you’re talking to right in the eye…

    To this day, my “children”(my youngest is 30 yrs old) do exactly as I taught them to do. They know that if they did not do as I taught them, even today they would feel my wrath(NOT a pretty6 sight).

    I thank you for posting this for there are far too many “parents” that do not have a clue as to what respect is or what it is all about.

  35. Tommienell Ellis says

    I believe that (as the scriptures say) we are to be good stewards (caretakers) of what we are given in life:
    possessions, time, finances and abilities Respect for what we are given in life and what others receive is stewardship. Training our children to be mannerly and precious is important in so many ways, and using one’s
    abilities to make a child’s life path easier through thoughtful living is a true gift. Unfortunately, many little ones
    never receive the gift of being encouraged to make good choices, thanks for listening to this old Grandma.

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