Tawra, We agree about tithing – our family believes the same as you folks do. We don’t have a church here. We have checked out a few but my husband works 6 Sunday’s in a row, then has 2 off and then back to working 6 Sunday’s again. We’re grateful for his job, but we haven’t tithed for ages. We know that’s wrong. I was just wondering – do you folks have a home church? If not, what do you do? Susan
Susan,
We have had a really hard time finding a church. For the last 1 1/2 years we have been having church at home. We get together with my brother’s family and mom and watch Calvary Chapel in Ft. Lauderdale on the internet during their live service. Pastor Bob is great!
As for tithe, we give most of it there since it’s "our church" but we do give some to other places. When we didn’t have a church when we lived in Idaho we would give it to places that we believed were doing God’s work like Joyce Meyer Ministries, Chuck Swindoll, or we would give it to the Women’s Domestic Abuse center locally. We would get an idea of things they needed at the center and then use the tithe money to purchase it at good prices. An example would be we would see robes or purses on clearance after Christmas and buy a bunch and donate them or buy a bunch of toiletries or diapers etc.
We have always sent our tithe to some Christian organization that we know well and is willing to share their financial information or are members of the EFCA or we have given it to someone in need we know personally. An example is I had a good friend that was leaving her abusive husband so we gave her cash for a deposit on a rental house. We only give something like that if we know the person well and know the money will be spend on needs.
I hope that gives you some ideas. Tawra
photo by: lincolnian
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Thank you so much for this post. I give my version of a tithe to a charity called Shoes that Fit – they provide shoes to needy kids K through 12 through the school nurse at schools. It’s done very discreetly and in a nice way, they don’t call the recipients out in front of the whole school so everyone knows. They have a website and get the top marks of accreditation by charity watch. Pretty much all that they take in goes to get shoes and backpacks for needy children.
There are several ways to pay your tithe. A children’s hospital such a s LaBonner for one. Or an orphan’s home or toward child abuse or care of the elderly.
A tithe does not just count money part of it is your time. Donating your time to hospitals as a volunteer or at a nursing home or one of the places listed above is a great thing to do. It get you and them involved on a one to one basis.
Actually the “ten” people” who met in your house to watch the Cavary Program are a church. I’m sure a dad is the leader, and the parents and children hold each other accountable. As for the encouraging…sometimes that is hard to do with people we live with.
Hi all, I have been having guilt trips about not giving a tithe since we took our child out of our church’s school. We got a very weird reaction from the pastor and now I do not feel comfortable going there anymore. My husband does not want to look for another church so I do not know what to do. Are churches different now? I don’t remember my grandparents having any problems with their church when I was growing up. Ours seems to keep preaching about living the good life. I just want to take care of my family without praying for a bunch of material stuff but I know it is important to give also.
I apologize to our readers for the length of this but it was not something I could do with a short answer.
Lorin, let me first say everything I write is only what worked for me and I know many people have different things they believe etc.
First you and your husband will have to be on the same page before you do anything. He really is the leader but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have input and part in the decision he just has the last say. But that is a whole ‘nother subject.
Yes churches are different now. I was raised and taught you go to one church and one alone and no matter what happens you stick with it. My husband and I were practicing that as a young couple but we were so miserable. We were very active in church etc. but I came away each Sunday feeling worse then before I had gone plus something just didn’t feel right but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
One day in the car I was listening to the radio. Now this may not seem so important but first I rarely listen to the radio. Second I was listening to a pastor on a Christian station. That may not seem strange either now but you see back then I didn’t even know they had Christian stations they were few and far between. So none of this was norm for me. Well the pastor started listing symptoms etc. of what you felt like after church on Sunday and I had all of them. He then said if you even have a few of these you are being spiritually starved at church and need to consider changing.
Boy did that hit me between the eyes but I knew my husband wasn’t ready to leave yet so I just kept praying about it. My husband in the mean time decided to grow a mustache and all hell literally broke out at church. The pastor told him God didn’t want men to have hair on their faces and really went crazy. My husband at the time directed the choir, played the organ and piano and did 3/4 of the music in the church. He was told he couldn’t do any of those and was told in a very public and unkind way. So he decided to just sing in the choir. The pastor saw him practicing and said if he sang that morning he would be bodily removed. It was bazaar.
My husband was still going to sing but a very wise older friend of ours stopped him and said “It is so wrong what the pastor is doing but don’t look at that. I was in the same type of position once and God had to really stir things up to get me to leave because he wanted me to minister in another church where He could better us me. So you need to leave. You are right and the pastor is wrong but God is doing this because He wants you some place else.
We walked out the door and drove straight to another church and it was like night and day. I have never been as well feed as I was from that new pastor and it changed my whole live. I can even say I probably wouldn’t have had this website if we hadn’t left and gone to that church it was such a dramatic thing.
Now I say all of that to say. Pray about it. Don’t feel guilty. There are times when God has to stir things up a little to get us to move on or to do something different. It isn’t necessarily because we are so wrong or any thing but just because of things we have been taught or it just needs to be done that way. You sound like you have a good spirit of discernment so listen to it. So often God quietly speaks to us but we can’t hear Him because the words of others are so strong and loud in our lives. I have always told my kids to help my grandkids to develop a good spirit of discernment because it will help them more in their lives then so many other things.
Churches have changed. That is why we are having such a hard time finding a church at this point in our lives now too. We have prayed and prayed about. I was beside myself at one point not knowing what we were going to do until I finally said God you know what we need and I can’t do any more. A week later my son sent me a pastor to watch on the internet they even have live services on Sunday. So I throw out a fleece – all 10 members of our 3 families had to like him and we did we loved him. So we now meet together and have our own mini service. Once again I knew I had been starving and was being feed.
It wasn’t long after that my sister in law said she had seen an article in a very famous magazine which said Wichita was one of the main cities where churches were going down hill bad and especially with building mega churches and the type of thing you described. I didn’t feel quite so bad after that. That doesn’t mean we still aren’t trying to find a church and it doesn’t mean I don’t like mega churches, the one we watch is one of the biggest in the nation. Size has nothing to do with being feed.
Here are some clues to help you. Does the pastor talk about the same subject over and over ( I’m not talking about him doing a series on a subject). You can’t just live off of one food group physically and the same principle works spiritually too.
At the end of the service does you heart swell with peace and joy and you have such a feeling of encouragement that you know no matter what comes into your life this week God is right beside you helping you to deal with each situation, guiding you when you are unsure and when things really go wrong you know for sure He will be there to comfort you.
Do you come away knowing God loves you so much and sacrificed so much for you that you want to love Him back and thank Him each moment. You feel that love so much it comes through to others in your life when you are dealing with them?
Bottom line do you come away from each service feeling encouraged and the fruits of the spirit; love, joy, peace, long suffering….(that is why they are called fruits, they are food) if not you aren’t being feed or for some reason God maybe wants to be in another church where you are needed more for what ever reason. It may not even be anything big either. Maybe at your new church you will speak some kind words of encouragement to a young boy who needed some and because of your encouragement he will grow up to be a mighty preacher or man of God.
We don’t always know what God has planned but I have learned time and time again to listen when something doesn’t feel quite right. It is scary and hard but I can’t describe the peace I felt when I stepped out and did what I was suppose to. I don’t know if it would help or not but we post our pastor’s service each Sunday so if you want you could watch it to maybe get an idea of what a different pastor is like and it might help your decision.
PS Lorin in her post was just asking a question in a kind and not hateful way. That is why I answered it the way I did. If there is someone who is just plain angry and disgruntled all the time and no church or anything which happens in church makes them happy I don’t think you should considerate on changing churches but on changing your heart. Like I said this was not the case with Lorin so I answered differently.
Jill, That was a beautiful and NOT TOO LONG answer to Lorin. Don’t ever feel your answers are too long. You have to write all the Holy Spirit wants you to, and that is that. Also, you write well, so it’s never boring to read what you write. I like the part about discernment. It is so true that God speaks to us in our hearts, and when we feel we should do something, we should. Maybe it doesn’t make sense even to us, so it’s understandable it wouldn’t make sense to others, but listening to Him is what Faith is suppose to be about. And trust. So even if others may not agree or understand, do what God is leading you to do. I had to learn to do that in my own life. We only see partially now, like the Bible says, so it’s not always easy to just do what God asks, but it’s better when we do, in the long run.
Just one thought I would like to share. Technically speaking (meaning it comes from the Bible, in this case), the tithe belongs to the church. That does tend to complicate things greatly for those of you in the difficult position of not having a specific one you attend faithfully right now. However, my husband is a staff member at a church, and we truly rely on tithing to keep the doors open We are currently behind in our budget, and things are going to need to be cut. We don’t preach a “prosperity” gospel, which is the wrong thing according to the Bible, but we are just going through a difficult time.
Consider this: you could do one of several things. You could give money to a local charity, like the shoes for kids suggestion, but that isn’t really what the tithe is for, and some worthy church somewhere could really use your tithe. It isn’t even about that church getting the money, as much as it is about you being blessed by your obedience. The tithe is for the church. Other offerings are just that – offerings, that are above and beyond your tithe (whatever percentage of your income you consider that to be).
I think we miss out on a blessing when we don’t obey the word of God. I have heard of people sending their tithe to churches in far away lands, even, (like a persecuted church in China, perhaps?) or to churches they have attended in the past that they have moved away from until they find a new one where they live.
I’m pretty sure that Calvary Church in Ft. Lauderdale would put your money to great use! They teach solidly, they probably also invest in Kingdom work in a worthy way.
I don’t want to seem legalistic or Pharisaical at all, so please hear my heart, this is about you doing what you know is right, and isn’t that why you asked the question in the first place?
Praying for your tough situation,
Jamie
Jamie you are right on target and so right in what you said. We have written on tithing in different places on the web site and that is exactly how we believe too. In reading this particular post it may not have been clear what we were saying in it. We believe the Bible talks about 3 types of giving and you should do all three first is tithe which goes to your local church or as in our case the church which is feeding us spiritually (our internet church at the moment). The second is offerings which sometimes God has blessed me in a special way and I feel lead to thank Him by giving above my tithe or I just see a need the church has and just give extra. The last is alms which is giving to the needy and as you said this is completely separate and above your tithe.
What we were mentioning in this article were there have been times (like when we lived in no mans land in Idaho) we didn’t have any kind of church at all or even one on the internet and we just gave to a Christian organization who we thought could use it until we could find some place.
I think what makes me so sad is that so many Christians are so almost – to use your words – legalistic when it comes to standing against adultery, drinking, murder, stealing (all of which are wrong) but think nothing of not tithing. It is hard to believe but only 3% of most Christians tithe. I have heard all of the excuses but in all honesty I have found most of them are just that.
I think the one I love the most is you don’t need to obey what God says on tithing. I don’t need to do anything the Bible says but I have learned like you said there are so many blessings I loose out on when I don’t. Besides as I have said so often I don’t need to hear all the excuses or the reasonings I just love God enough I want to give to Him in the same way I give to my children and grandchildren just because I love giving to them even if means a sacrifice on my part which it doesn’t feel like when something is given in love.
Well I had better quit. You said everything so perfectly and I had better get off of my soap box. People not tithing in church is one of my pet peeves so I have to be careful. One last thing then I will stop. We as Christians want a “Christian” world with all of its principles alive and growing but we aren’t even willing to give to our own churches to keep them alive. Just blows my mind away.
Another good organization to give to is pregnancy resource centers. These centers help pregnant teens, single pregnant women or any woman in a tough position with an unplanned pregnancy. They show that there are alternatives to abortion and offer help, resources and encouragement to give babies for adoption instead of abortion. There is a good Christian one in my area and they also spread the gospel to the women they are helping. I feel it’s important to donate to these types of organizations as well.
In fact, the last church I attended, we as a church voted on different ministries to donate to. Our church chose the pregnancy resource center for two years in a row. Not a traditional ‘missionary’ donation but important!
One place I have never heard anyone mention before and that is the juvenile detention centers. Those kids are some of the ones who kind of get lost in the system sometimes. I was doing ironing for the gal in charge of ours (which is across the street from me) and she was telling me one day how when the kids leave there to be released or go to a foster home all they have is a trash bag to place all of their things in. She said it was so sad because that is the way some of them feel as if their life just amounts to what can be stuffed into an old trash bag.
Some of the kids are in there not because of anything they did wrong but because there was no place else to put them when their homes were broken up. I had done some things for them and one day one of the women who works there stopped by and she handed me a stack of about 35 homemade cards. Each one was a thank you note with pictures, letters and drawings all of them thanking me from the bottom of their hearts for what I had done. I really received so much more then what I had given from them. Just made me want to cry.
I totally believe in the blessings of tithing and also have had conversations with others, who believe it is an old testament idea that died on the cross.
However, I disagree. The bible new testament talks about Jesus coming to fulfill the commandments, not take away. Tithing is like the old testament sacrifice. Thus being said, our pastors should be feed their sheep, not feeding off their sheep, so there are a lot that don’t feel comfortable tithing, because they do not have disclosure as to where that money goes except to see their pastor’s empire grow. If that is the case, then what Jill says is true and you need to move on. We have to come to a place where God directs us to grow and to come to self sacrifice with sound Biblical teachings.
Jesus and his disciples didn’t stay in one place, didn’t have a “home church” with a steady building that was only open on Sunday…When they weren’t welcomed, the shook the dust off their feet. Some (or most) churches need to be shook! When there are three or more people gathered in Jesus’ name, there is church… that is it…
Grow in God’s love and let His Light Shine before you!
Jill, your post about receiving those 35 handmade cards from those unwanted and unloved children is beautiful. Many of those children don’t know what real love is, or a good mother, so you are helping them more than you know. That is why God loves you so much. That and all the other good you do in this world.
I agree with heather(posted on oct 27,2010) Church is where two or more people are gathered,And tithing is 10% of our Monthly Income no matter what it is, also Tithing is to help the poor,the widows ( who don’t have any family to help them), and the orphans. not preachers ( unless they are poor) I Turely Belive this, I read the bible and have had the bible read to me since I was a little girl, also my dad was a preacher, and what I know I learned from him or I learned from the bible or the LORD has told me himself.