Dealing with Job Loss
Recently, I was talking to a young family man who was on the verge of losing his job. I could tell he was very discouraged and he told me, "No matter what I do, I lose."
To me, those are fighting words. I immediately stopped him and said, "Don’t say ,’No matter what I do, I lose.’ You may be losing your job, but that is all. You are focusing so much on what is happening at your work and how you feel like a victim that you can’t see anything but that. It is paralyzing you and you can’t see what to do." I once heard a preacher say, "The problem isn’t the problem but what we think about the problem."
So many of us do this. When anything bad happens to us, we focus so much on the problem that we can’t function. Instead, we should be focusing on how to fix the problem. It is much like when you are walking on a ledge that is very high up. What is the one thing people usually tell you? "Don’t look down."
Why? Because you will focus too much on the danger and the harm that could happen to you. When you look down, it immediately causes you to freeze with fear and keep you from getting to your destination. At times, it can be so bad that someone else has to risk his or her life to come and rescue you because no amount of coaxing can get you to see that it’s okay. Just keep moving and you will make it to the end fine.
Isn’t that what we do in everyday life? When we lose a job, a spouse, our home or when someone we love becomes ill, we become so paralyzed with fear that we can’t function. We end up being no use to ourselves or to anyone else. We can’t pull our eyes and thoughts away from the bad situation. It reminds me of those snake charmers in the cartoons, where the snake is coming out of the basket and the person watching can’t break eye contact with the snake. They are focusing so strongly on a dangerous situation (the snake biting them) that they can’t do anything to get themselves out of harm’s way.
The Bible says that God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear (and how often does the Bible say, "fear not"?) but of power and love and a sound mind. You must break eye contact with the bad thing that is happening in your life. Instead, you need to become fearless, a person with power over your life and your situation. You must get back your sound mind. Having a sound mind means being a person with wisdom and common sense.
A wise person, one with common sense, will try to solve the problem. Wise people take responsibility for the problem – whether they are to blame or not - and they start actively trying to solve it.
Most of us know the story of David and Goliath. David was one spunky little guy. Not only were people in danger of losing their jobs, their homes and the ability to buy their big screen TVs, they were at the point of being wiped out by one very big giant.
Big strong men stood on the sidelines, trembling with fear, whining and complaining that there was no way to overcome this giant. Then David arrived and said, "What in the world is going on here? Why doesn’t someone just kill him?"
When David, a boy, realized that nobody was brave enough to do anything, he said "I will take care of him." He took responsibility for something that wasn’t even his fault and started actively doing something. So what happened next? Everyone started laughing at David, telling him, "There is no way you can do this." You need to do like he did and consider the source. These were the same men who were so afraid they couldn’t function at all.
Then, when they saw that he was still going ahead, they started encumbering him with all kinds of very bad advice about how he should do it, like telling him what kind of heavy armor he should wear, making David’s job even harder. They insisted that David should use their common everyday solutions, which already didn’t work for anyone else… Heaven forbid that he try something different.
We all know the ending of the story. David used the gifts and abilities that God had given him (good marksmanship with a sling and a brave heart) and killed the giant.
One preacher summed it up in a nutshell when he said Most of them saw Goliath as too big to kill, but David saw him as to big to miss. It’s all in the way you look at the problem.
We all have bad things happen to us. That is just life. It used to be, when things happened to people, most would just pick themselves up and try to keep going, even if their progress was no more than stumbling or crawling. Now, when something happens, we whine, blame and lay down, curling up in a ball waiting for someone else to fix things.
I feel like I am preaching to the choir because our readers are a different breed. Most of them are Davids trying to deal with the giants but for a few of you out there who have just been broadsided by something in your life, take a moment to catch your breath. Then pick yourself up and keep going.
Do you know why we want to be like David? We want to be like him because he won. David and many other Biblical and modern heroes won not because they were special or different but because they had their faith and lots of fight in them.
Here is one more modern day example: I told our young man I mentioned earler to stop looking at what was happening at work and look in a completely different direction. "You know you are probably going to lose your job, so what do you need to do then? Find another job of course. Get your resume together and go to some agencies.
I knew exactly what was going to happen next and it did. The excuses started coming. "I can’t do it because I still have to work and the agencies are closed by the time I get off." Then take one of your vacation days and hit the pavement. When someone tries to shake us out of our paralyzed state, we immediately start coming up with excuses why we can’t move.
The next day, he did exactly that. He called so excited. He didn’t have a new job yet but they told him at the agency that they loved his resume, he had more experience then they had ever seen for his type of job and much more. His attitude change was like night and day.
Bad things do happen, but so do good things. Stop living in fear, with your eyes stuck on your giants, and start looking for a few stones to throw at them. You’ll be surprised how things change.
-Jill
photo by: stuartpilbrow
excellent words of wisdom! thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your Biblical outlook to the pressures of today—-although, these ideas may not be popular. You have accurately described the answer and may God bless you for your obedience.
gretson
Thank you so much. What a blessing your words are. 2010 was difficult and 2011 brings new challenges but…when you have nothing left, and nowhere to turn but God, it will dawn on you that he is all you really need.
Celebrate, if you are born again Christian, you know the ending to the story. Take baby steps of faith and enjoy the journey.
grace and peace,
Mary Cate
Thank you for your biblical advice…..God truly cares about
our problems and says “Come unto me……and I will give you rest”
also He tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart…”
I enjoy your emails and your books (that I purchased). I also
saw on your “budget” that you are a tither, I now know why that
you have been able to get out of debt…..God blesses them that
give to him, He truly opens up the window of Heaven.
Keep up the good work and Keep TRUSTING in Him.
Jill:
Your blog today on “Dealing With Job Loss” was awesome! It was Inspiring and Positive. As a Professional Career Coach and Headhunter for the last 20years, I am impressed with the simpliciy and straight forwardness of your writing. I plan to use your wonderful message to encourge and uplift others this week and Thank you again for your courageous insight into the real problems in life…..entitlement and complacency and fear of failure! You are right….we all need the gumption to pull ourselves up by our boot straps whenever we get knocked down. We all need more Fight in us! Thanks again for all you do!
I loved the David and Goliath reference. It is all in how you look at things. Think outside the box sort of thing. Thanks for your words of encouragement and wisdom!
Use fluffy cotton from those pill bottles to pick up shards of glass. or sticky tape. Or damp newspaper
This is a great article Jill. And it’s so coincidental too, because I was just reading in a book the other day, that the words “Fear Not” are in EVERY single book of the Bible. I was amazed to read that, and it’s good too, because God knows how much our fears paralyze us from doing what He wants us to do in our lives. Great advice. I will be printing this out to add to my file of your inspiring articles.
Jill, I wanted to recommend a book to you that I am reading. I found it at a used book sale, but I checked the library and it’s available there, so maybe you can get it from your library. The mother in the story reminds me so much of you. She is such a decent, hard-working, God-fearing woman, that I thought you would enjoy the book. It’s called, “Mary Emma and Company” by Ralph Moody. The mother lives in Colorado at first, and has a stay-at-home job of washing curtains for hotels in her home. Then the family moves to Boston and she finds that the hotels there do their own washing, so she takes a job at a “fine-washing” laundry to learn new skills so she can open her own home business doing other kinds of washing. Her children are so delightful to read about too, because they learned from their mother how the virtues of hard work and frugalness help in life. The mother even bought a whole household of used furniture from an elderly woman’s house, that passed away, because she didn’t want to go into debt. Her son works in a small grocery store and is a very good worker because he wanted to help out his family. The story is set in the early part of the 1900′s and is so charming and it gives you a good feeling about trying to be a good person and doing the right thing in ALL situations.
Bea it does sound like a really good book I will have to check it out and see if I can find it thanks for letting me know about it. I may not get to the library for a few days though because like many others we are smack in the middle of a blizzard. I hope everyone who is getting hit is staying home and keeping warm and safe. So far everyone in our family is home but my daughter in law so home she makes okay too.
Anyway I digress as usual but thanks for the tip I am always desperate for a new book to read.
I hope you find the book because I know you will like it Jill. You may even be able to get it from “Interlibrary loan” from your library. Hope you find it. Also, we have been having snow just about every day here. In fact, it snows, then gets a little warm, so then the snow on the roof melts and causes HUGE icicles to hang down. There was one hanging from the roof of the building I live in, to the roof of the small front porch that I have, that had to be about 8 inches or more thick at the top, and about 5 feet long. No kidding. I can’t remember seeing so many huge icicles in the recent winters. They remind me of my childhood. Lots of snow everywhere this winter.
Jill- I woke up with giants in front of me. Thanks so much for the ‘stones’ to throw! We all need to hear this. Blessings!
Thank you for the information on your site. I was also just reading that many times we act like our Heavenly Father is a neglectful parent. We need to remember that our Father loves us more that we love ourselves and that many times we need to use the “down” times to draw near to Him and to know what a great “Daddy” we have.
thank u for this timely message jill . .
and thank you bea for sharing the info on the book …
and for everyone getting hit with this huge snowstorm .. i hope all
of you are safe and warm ..
That is absolutely true – sometimes bad things happen, and then again, sometimes good things happen. If you take just one tiny step forward, it helps your mental state. I really feel for some people right now who are having a hard time finding a job. We had some hard times a couple of years ago. The only thing to do is just keep getting up every morning, and hang in there. And every night, hit your knees and count your blessings (even if it’s hard to think of any, you can find some if you try.)
Jill — thank you so much for your article today. I don’t believe in coincidences. My local Christian radio station likes to say that “it’s a God thing”, not a coincidence when the right song comes on for you, at just the right time. Your article was “just the right time”. I am facing a terrible situation at my workplace, and some big decisions will be made in 2011. You just reminded me of the right way to approach the whole thing.
THANK YOU!!
You are welcome Sandy. I do hope all goes well at work and that things will fall in place for you. You are right about certain things happening at just a certain time. It happens to me all the time and you would think I would get use to it after all these years but I still shake my head in amazement when it does.
Thanks for your article entitled Dealing With Job Loss! It was just the encouragement I needed!
The job that I have, and have had for the last 7 years, is wearing me down in more ways than I can count…but I am now 65, and have found 4 friends that keep me going, that in the same company. One man keeps telling me to “focus on the positive side” and each morning that I am in the breakroom, and he is there also, he always asks what “positive thing I a have today”, “no negatives allowed”. the other three let me talk and give me thoughts as to what to do. One brings in her baby girl every so often, or we will go out to lunch from time to time, looking into the face of that little girl, and having her smile and giggle….makes my day every time. These four people and one tiny baby girl, helps me get through one day at a time that I am still working.
Thank you for this article truly amazing and it changed my day:)
Sounds like great advice!
Thank you for this. Just so you know, God used you to tell me something and I thank you for listening to Him and sending out this message. God Bless! Thanks again!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by telissa little and nicole brown, Bonnie Miller. Bonnie Miller said: For those in Arkadelphia who may soon lose you jobs, here is a word of inspiration that I hope will help you. http://bit.ly/gn0CaY [...]
Yes! and Amen!!
I love this article, I lost my job back in September ’09 along with 400 people at our place of business. I was one of the few who did exactly what you said in your article; I took the job seminars offerings the company offered, I polished the resume. But I chose to go back to school for the next two years to get a degree that will make me more marketable. Yes it is a wee bit hard on my family, but we are making do and are committed to making this work. I tell any one of my ex co workers who call to boo hoo, complain or vent, pick up yoursef up and let’s see what can be done. Thank you for this, I am sharing it with many of them….
here are a couple of tips we use to stay ahead in the job front.
keep your resume up to date. check it every 4 months and add things take things away.
listen to rumours, the radio. If you hear that your company is not doing so well start planning on what you will do if you are out of a job.
If there is a contract to be signed this year, forget about holidays. That way if there is a strike you have the weeks of holiday pay to help with bills.
My husband is a welder by trade but works as a miner underground. They keep getting him to do the welding jobs that need doing underground. He gets more pay doing them but the real reason he does them is so he keeps his hand in. You have to get re licensed every 4 years and the company will pay for this since they need his skill. This way when the mine closes which we expect in 2 years or so he will be able to put on his resume that he is a welder with all the tickets necessary at no cost to him. If your company offers this take advantage of it. Every check on the resume means a better chance at a job.
The older you get the more important those checks are when it comes to job hunting.
this attitude has gotten us through quite a few job changes in the last 35 years.
Thanks.I needed to be reminded of David and Goliath today. Things have not been going very well lately.Everyone in my house goes to work in different directions and now we are dealing with Broken cars and serious car accidents. It could be worse, but sometimes you just get discouraged. And it just keeps SNOWING!!! I haven’t seen the sun for days!!!Thanks for today’s encouragement.
[...] Image Credit: http://www.livingonadime.com/dealing-with-job-loss/ [...]
Thank you for your article! It’s great to be reminded that we need to get up, brush ourselves off & keep going. I have re-learned that lesson the hard way recently. My husband left our 25 year marriage 6 months ago and I am trying to re-enter the workforce. Do you happen to have any advice on how to *find* a job? I’d appreciate any help you can give me.
It is much harder now because it seems everything is done over the internet but the main thing is to let everyone you talk to – even casually – that you are looking for a job. Hit the bricks and try every where even places that you don’t think would be hiring. Temporary services are good places to try. That way you get to “test” a job out and see if you like plus if you do like it then you can sometimes get on permanent there. Make sure you mention all of your skills even the ones you don’t think are great yourself.
Don’t be afraid to try for any job you think you might like but aren’t qualified for. For example there was one at the bank and I wasn’t going to apply for it because it was when computers were first starting to be used and I didn’t know anything about them so I thought for sure they couldn’t use me but I tried any way. They said I was perfect for it because they wanted someone who didn’t know anything about computers so they could train them the way they wanted to.
Always dress the part and look and act nice when even going in to ask for an application or about a job. People often think they only have to dress for the job interview but I worked as a receptionist at a very large company and people would come and ask me about an application. My boss always asked me then what my opinion was of them and whether they were dressed right and acted nice. People were called for an interview depending on my recommendation.
Jill- I appreciate your common sense and the way you share your encouragement. What you said about dealing with dealing with job loss and having courage to deal with problems was right on target. Your posts provide a great service.