When I arrived home from Colorado, I found a dead  hot water heater.  I was so thankful it didn’t do anything really bad like explode or flood my basement.

Anyway, I had the plumber come and he gave me a list of things he would have to do when he replaced it. These were extra things I would be charged for in addition to the hot water heater and installing it. I asked him, “Do I really need this?’ There were things like a pan to go under it. Since my hot water heater was 18 inches from the drain I really didn’t need it. I saved $25.

They then were going to drill holes in my wall and add vents right next to the door in that room that I always keep opened. I asked why do I have to have vents when I have a huge opening where my door is? I discovered that if I  take the door off I wouldn’t need the vents. Since I don’t use that door anyway I took the door off. Saved another $35.

I know I sound like a broken record but it does pay to ask. I do this at the doctors office, the dentist and many other places. My plumber was really nice about it and willing to work with me. Don’t be afraid to ask. I asked just 2 questions and I saved $60 plus he even said he would take the door off for me for nothing. Oh happy day! !

      -Jill

Photo By: johncarljohnson

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How to Have More with Less at Christmas
By Jill Cooper and Tawra Kellam

After laying down my last women’s magazine telling me how to be less stressed during the holidays, I’m even more confused and stressed then ever. On one page I’m told to take time for myself and indulge in a lovely spa bath. That sounds great, but I can hardly find time for a shower on a slow day in June let alone take a spa bath the week before Christmas.

As I turn the page, I’m told to give all my friends and family homemade ornaments to which I have lovingly glued 500 beads, each the size of a grain of sand. OK I’ll admit I’m not a rocket scientist, but I am baffled when I try to imagine how I could accomplish these two things even if I didn’t have an ever growing list of Christmas preparation tasks. Hmmm… Maybe I could lay in my spa bath carefully gluing on beads to ornaments throughout the night.

As I read on, there are articles telling me how not to gain weight at Christmas parties. Isn’t that like telling a three year old to not get dirty while making mud pies?

But it gets better. They then tell you to eat a meal before you go to the party. What? Is that some kind of new diet where you lose weight by eating two meals in the evening instead of one? If it is then I’m all for it. I mean really — who eats four carrot sticks and five pieces of celery at home then arrives at a party where they have pecan pie, five different types of fudge, 10 dozen cookies and egg nog and says "Oh no, I really couldn’t eat a thing. I’m sooooo full…?" Excuse Me! Doesn’t anyone live in the real world any more?

To top it all off (and the part I like the best) is after they tell us how to get rid of stress and not gain weight, they give us 10 pages of recipes for Christmas cookies made with real butter and cream that are decorated so elaborately in the pictures that it probably took a trained kitchen staff of 10 a week to make each cookie.

If you are like me and can’t stand that kind of stress, try some of these Christmas ideas to help you have a relaxed and Merry Christmas:

• Don’t over-spend – It may be tempting to fixate yourself on the sparkling look in little Johnny’s eye when he sees that $300 play car under the tree. Advertising people are really good at feeding many parents’ fantasies of their children thinking that mom and dad are the superheros for shelling out the cash and looking fondly back on that moment for the rest of their lives. The reality, though, is that most kids have lost all interest in that particular toy long before the credit cards are paid off.
• When we were growing up, my mom pulled out all of the stops at Christmas to make it as wonderful for us as she possibly could. The funny thing is that now that we are grown, the things we remember the most fondly are mom’s red Jello salad (made with red hots – yummy!) and sitting together and reading the Christmas story before opening our presents. I can’t remember what presents I received, but I always look back fondly on the Christmas story.

• Do a few things well – Instead of trying to do everything and ending up depressed with how it all turns out, focus your energy on a couple of things that are the most important to you. You may be tempted to extravagantly decorate every room in your house, but if you don’t have the time or energy, focus on one room, like a living or family room. If your entire house is beautiful but you have to go see a therapist when it’s all over, the romantic mystique will be lost. Trust me, I know about this one from personal experience.

• Limit activities — Don’t commit to do too many things. One or two parties during the holiday season will make you get all tingly in that “It’s a Wonderful Life” kind of way. Two or three parties a week may send you over the edge, especially if you have kids. (Refer to my therapist comments above.)
• This also applies to all of those appealing looking activities around town like Victorian Christmas events, Christmas celebrations at the zoo or winter carnivals. One or two can be a lot of fun, but too many will ruin the fun.

• Limit cookie baking. Don’t try to make 15 different kinds of cookies like Martha Stewart. She may look like she is super woman, but did you know she has a lot of people that help her? How much help do you get with your baking? I mean real help, not your five year old who makes everything twice as difficult for you. This is great for grandma, but you have to see your daughter every day and grandma can send her back when the house is sufficiently covered in flour. Again, pick your two or three most favorite or traditional cookies to bake and celebrate the fact that you had few enough priorities that you remembered to put the sugar in them.

• Everything doesn’t have to be homemade. I know that we advocate making your own stuff, but Marie Callender’s makes some great pies that you can pass off as homemade if you want to soothe your guilty Martha Stewart conscience. In 20 years, your kids will look fondly back on it as the best pie they ever had. Seriously, if you are making things homemade just to save money, remember that some things like candies and pies are often more expensive to make homemade, especially if you cut your finger while slicing the apples. Don’t ask me how I know, just trust me on this one.

These aren’t the only things you can do to reduce your stress, but if you stick to doing a few things well, you can truly relax and enjoy the season with your family. In the end, they would rather have fond memories of their time with you than memories of how strung out mom was after she burned the cookies.

By Jill and Tawra

photo by: trekkyandy

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Gift Giving – A Different Mind-Set

One of the greatest freedoms I have ever felt was when I arrived at the point where I didn’t buy my gifts based on what people would think of me. You know the type I mean. That office gift exchange that you really don’t have the money for this year but can’t say no to because you wonder, "What will they think of me at the office?"

What about that expensive gift you really can’t afford but that you know your sister in law expects of you? You know she will say bad things about you to the rest of the family if the gift isn’t up to her standards.

Then there are the gifts like the ones for the trash man, the mailman or babysitter and, of course, you can’t spend any less than $25 on each child’s teacher. I mean what kind of person are you if you don’t give these people expensive gifts?

Then there are the obligatory gifts for those people whom you have only known for a month or two. Though you’ve only seen them once or twice in that time, they show up on Christmas Eve with a gift for you. Of course, you have to keep several presents on hand to give them.

I don’t want to sound like Scrooge but my point is that you have got to stop feeling compelled to buy gifts (or anything else for that matter) solely because you’re worried what others will think of you.

You don’t have to do what everyone expects you to do. Think about that for a moment. Just because something is expected of you doesn’t mean you have to do it. There is a difference between that and doing what you are responsible for, but that is for another discussion.

Just because everyone expects you to exchange gifts at the office doesn’t mean you have to. Just because you think the trash man or mailman expects a gift doesn’t mean you have to give him or her one. (I love my trash man and mailman… well not literally, but I do like and appreciate them and I don’t mean to sound like I’m just picking on them).

I know this is hard to do because we all want people to think well of us. Here are some suggestions to free yourself from worrying about what others think, especially in the area of gift giving:

First of all be a kind, considerate, respectful, good and caring person. You may be asking, "What does that have to do with giving gifts?" All year long I try to go above and beyond the call of duty with the people I work with, my friends and my family. I try to help them when I can, I treat them with respect and I try to do thoughtful things for them.

For example let’s use my good old trash man. If I have an extra amount of trash, I will make a point of running out and thanking him for doing the extra work. At other times, I tell him what a good job he does or I will call his company and tell them what a good job he does. Every once in a while, I bring him out a plate of cookies.

When Christmas comes, if I can’t afford to buy him a gift, he really doesn’t think anything about it.

Sometimes others ask me if I give my trash man a gift and, when I say no, they get a look of horror on their faces. I don’t worry about it because I know in my heart that I did the best I could. If the truth were known, my trash man probably appreciates the things I did all year long more than the one little "token" gift that they gave at Christmas.

Which would you rather have — someone who is nice and helpful to you all the time who might not give you a gift or someone who shows no interest in you all year and then gives you a token gift once a year?

Secondly, don’t make a big deal out of not being able to give a gift. Years ago when I was younger, a friend and I had to go to a business get-together where they would be serving alcohol. Neither one of us drank. My friend wanted to know what we should do if we were offered something to drink. I hadn’t even given it a second thought, so I looked at him in surprise and said, "What do you mean? We just say no thank you and ask for a Sprite or something."

I didn’t make a big deal out of it and when I was asked what to drink I just asked for my Sprite. No one thought anything of it, but my friend hemmed and hawed about it and started apologizing because he didn’t drink. Then he went into details about why he didn’t drink and on and on until people were either embarrassed for him or thought there was something wrong with him.

He was trying so hard to impress the people for the sake of our business but instead he just made a fool of himself. We get so worried about what other people think that we tend to make fools out of ourselves and make a bigger deal out of something than it needs to be.

Take a moment to think how much you have spent this year on things to impress others, and not just at Christmas but all year long. Are you a parent who bought a toy or car for a child that you couldn’t afford but were worried that the child wouldn’t love you as much if you didn’t get it?

How many birthday gifts have you bought for your friends or your children’s friends that were more expensive than you could afford but you didn’t want them to think less of you or your child?

Many times, people have asked me if I was going to a certain Bible study or activity at church. When I said no, they asked why and I had to say I couldn’t afford it. but I didn’t spend money I didn’t have just so they wouldn’t think there was something wrong with me spiritually.

If you really think about it, you will be amazed at how many times we spend money we don’t have just to impress others. Like I said earlier, if you are kind, caring, respectful person who thinks more of others than yourself, people will see you and care for you alone and not what you can give. They will know that you give generously when you can and if you don’t there is a good reason.

You may say, "That is all well and good, but what about people that don’t understand and think poorly of me when I don’t give a gift?" I hate to be blunt, but what about them? Does it really matter what people who are uncaring and judgmental think about you? These type of people will always find something to judge or misunderstand no matter how hard you try to please them.

What I’m trying to say is don’t allow what others think to cause you and your family to go into debt, even if it is your own family and friends. This is peer pressure. We tell our children not to give in to peer pressure, but we give into it all the time and we wonder why our children fall into the trap of it. They see it practiced at home.

If you’re a little insecure about changing this habit, be careful, gain some confidence and if you are truly and honestly doing the best you can, don’t worry about what others think.

One last note: This doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn’t buy gifts for these different people that I mentioned above. If you have the money, then go for it. Also don’t be embarrassed to give a gift that is not so expensive. We offer ideas in our books and all over the web site about how to give very nice gifts for very little. Get the thought out of your head that if you can’t give something expensive you shouldn’t give at all.

I know that it might sound trite, but it is true. Some of the nicest gifts I received and the ones I enjoyed and appreciated the most cost very little or nothing. That little Elmo magnet my grandchild bought with his own money at a garage sale means just as much to me (even though I’m not really into Elmo) as the most expensive gift I ever received. I will proudly display my magnet and cherish it because it was bought with love and much thought.

It really is the thought that counts (not the price).

       -Jill

Photo By: mateoutah

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Splitting the Bill – Eating Out With Friends

Many readers have asked about how to handle eating out with friends. Some of the questions are:

"What do I say when friends want to eat out a lot as a way to socialize but we don’t have the money to do that?"

"What do I say when my friends want to go out to eat but they never pay their share?"

"What do you do when your group wants to "split" the bill but the portion they ask you to pay is way higher than what you actually spent?" In one case the person said they spent about $20 but when the bill was split up it came to $91 a person! Wow!

"What do you do when a friend brings a coupon for Buy One Get One Meal Free and they want their meal free because you purchased yours?"

Well, here is what I would say:

"I’m sorry but I’m not going to be eating out today (or this week, month or whatever)". If you still go out, I would ask ahead of time "Do you have your wallet and money?"

When ordering, say, "I would like my own check please."

"Oh great! A coupon! …So we can SPLIT the cost of lunch."

These may seem like simple responses but keep it short and sweet with no explanation needed. It’s your money and there is no reason for you to be paying for others’ meals.

Tawra

Photo By: Alastair Vance

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Stop Paying Late Fees On Credit Cards And Other Bills

Here’s something to think about: Did you know that late fees on people’s credit cards account for 1/3 of the bank’s income?

Paying your bills on time is one of the easiest ways to save money. You don’t have to give up anything or do anything that takes a lot of work. You just write a check, put it in an envelope (which is usually provided for you) and mail it. Many people pay bills online now, which is just as quick.

Putting off paying a bill doesn’t mean it will somehow go away. It just means that you’re going to have a BIGGER bill to pay. For some reason, many of us tend to be like ostriches when it comes to our bills.

Our pastor was talking last Sunday about how ostriches aren’t too bright. It started me thinking about how much like ostriches we are sometimes when it comes to our bills.

• An ostrich buries its head in the sand, thinking if it can’t see its enemy, the enemy can’t see it and the enemy will go away. Never mind that the ostrich’s huge body is sticking out in plain view.

  In the same way, many of us think if we bury our bills under a pile of papers and we can’t see them, they will just go away.

• Ostriches have little wings that they flap all the time, thinking they can fly and are going somewhere, but the reality is that their wings don’t work and they aren’t going anywhere at all.

  In the same way, we often flap our wings doing non-productive things with our finances, like spending money on things that we think make us feel good. We think we are flying high and living the good life when we are really going nowhere.

  Some of us think we are saving money by using energy efficient light bulbs and turning off lights, but then we turn around and pay hundreds of dollars a year to operate a large freezer that is mostly empty or is full of food we never use.

• There is one thing an ostrich is really good at and that is running– running very, very fast away from things. How often are we like that?

  Instead of standing firm and facing our problems, we think it is easier to turn tail and run as fast as we can to get away from our problems.

  Please don’t get angry with what I just said. Instead, consider my words and be honest about your situation.

If you find my statement about late fees hard to believe, here are some numbers. These numbers are ballpark figures, but I tried to get as close as I could to average. Take a look at your own numbers and check to see what is happening in your life. Don’t bury your head in the sand.

Assuming that late fees average $35 each:

• 5 credit card bills paid late = $175 a month, $2,100 a year
• 10 credit card bills paid late = $350 a month, $4,200 a year

But it gets worse. If you have a nice low interest rate, paying your bill late usually causes the interest rate to jump up to 30% after the first time you are late. That means if you borrow $1,000 you will be paying $300 interest every year.

If you have $1,000 balance on credit cards that have been reset to 30% interest, your interest on:

• 5 cards = $1,500 a year
• 10 cards = $3,000 a year

I think you are getting the idea. So often, I hear moms say, "I wish I could stay home", or "There is no way we could live on one income," but it IS possible. In some cases, one person’s entire income is mostly going to paying late fees and interest on credit cards and other bills. This is why I get so passionate about controlling your debt. Once you learn to control it, you can radically change your whole life and lifestyle for the better.

      -Jill

Photo By: wsssst

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My Recipe For Homemade Rye Crisps

I had a loaf of rye bread that I got for Mike on clearance for .50. He never got around to eating and it was going to go bad. I decided to cut it up into very thin slices and make my own rye crisps.

I sliced them as thin as I could. Then I brushed them with olive oil. I sprinkled them with garlic, onion powder and salt. Then I dried them in the oven for about 30-45 minutes at 200 degrees.

They turned out great!

You could do this with any type of bread. I got about $8 worth of boxed crisps for .50!
Yum!

-Tawra

photo by: treehouse1977

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Here is how I organize and use magazines:

Limit how many magazines you subscribe to. Not only will it save you money but also time and clutter. I know what it is like to love reading magazines but you have to be honest. If you don’t have time to read them or can’t find them when you want them, what good are they?

One thing I learned as a young mom was to use my library. On those days when I just had to “get away from it all” I would go to the library and sit in the peace and quiet reading magazines. If there was an article I needed I would copy it and, on rare occasions when there were several things I liked in it, I would buy the magazine at the stands. (I did this just once.)

It is hard for me to pay full price for a magazine because every place I live the public library sells or gives away their extras. I can often go to my library and get this month’s Woman’s Day or Better Homes and Gardens for a dime. Even if they are a few months older it doesn’t matter. Many people don’t get around to reading their subscription magazines until they are a month or two old anyway.

For the magazines I do have, here’s how I deal with them:

1. I try to read them right away, preferably within the week I receive them. Take them with you while waiting to pick up the kids from school or waiting at the doctors office. Keep a magazine in the car to read while waiting for a train or between appointments.
2. I tear out the article I want to keep, which I put into a file folder that is kept on my desk.
3. When the folder is full, I have a small file box divided into categories. At night, when I’m watching TV or sitting with the kids doing homework I file everything away. I do this every time the folder gets full. If I don’t, I become overwhelmed. Control yourself. If the folder is full you can’t add more articles. You have to throw them away! So file the things away regularly.

Though I limit my magazine articles to one file box, I realize some of you may need more room. You can use a filing cabinet or a small filing box for each category. Then the filing boxes can be placed on some shelving.

Be sure to label them clearly.

The list of categories you choose to divide your articles into when organizing them depends on your own interests and tastes. Here are some of the categories I divide my magazines into:

• Decorating
• Gardening
• Sewing
• Home remodeling
• Children
• Cooking
• Crafts
• Scrapbooking
• Cleaning

I then sub-divide those categories again when I get a lot of magazine articles to organize.

For example:

Decorating

• kitchen
• bath
• bedrooms

Sewing

• quilting
• crocheting
• knitting

Gardening

• trees
• flowers
• compost
• bugs

Once again, adjust it to your own needs.

Last but most important is to throw the magazine out, give it to someone else to read or give to the thrift store. If you have a friend or relative that enjoys the same types of magazines you do, share the subscriptions.

One person can subscribe to one magazine and the other person to another magazine. Then swap with each other. If there is something you want to keep from your friend’s magazine, ask if they want it and, if they do, just make a copy of the one article.

Magazines are taking over our homes. If you don’t have time to read them, stop buying them. I don’t care what a good deal they were. Why pay even a small amount of money for something to sit in a corner collecting dust?

-Jill

P.S.  If you are afraid you are going to miss something important in a magazine, think again. I found a ladies magazine from 1917 in my home and compared it to a new magazine in 1975. The articles and things they talked about were the same, even the ideas. A year ago I pulled out that same 1917 magazine and it was still true for today. It included articles on how to cook well balanced healthy meals (oatmeal was good for you), how to get the cleanest clothes, gardening tips and most of the tips were the same tips as we find in today’s magazines.

Photo by:  bravenewtraveler

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