From: Misty
First, let me say I LOVE your website!!!I use it EVERY DAY! Since you have inspired me to start being more frugal with my money, I search high
and low for great deals.

I recently started shopping at Garage Sales, Dollar stores, thrift stores, etc., but sometimes I think I am getting a great deal only to realize it wasn’t that good of a deal. For instance, I spent $2.25 at a thrift store on a bunch of 12 plastic clothes hangers and that day I went to a department store that had them on sale for $2.00. Seeing this made me realize I had not saved any money at all!

Does this ever happen to you? Have you ever bought something that you were sure was a great deal, only to realize it wasn’t a good deal at all?? Should I do something different?

Hi Misty – Yes, I have made mistakes like this and still do it sometimes. I try to be as careful as I can to get the lowest price on an item. If it’s at a thrift store, I try never to pay more than half the retail price if it’s in great condition.

If it’s at a yard sale I try to pay 10% retail on small items and no more than half the retail price on large items (furniture, etc.) that are in excellent condition.

If you buy something from a store and it goes on sale shortly afterward, you can take it back to the store and most stores will give you a refund for the difference as long as it’s only been a couple weeks to a month since you bought it.

What do I do for other situations, like the hanger mistake you mentioned? Well, I repeat to myself , “Let it go… let it go.”  Really, that’s exactly what I do. I just write it off and move on, knowing that the next time I need hangers they will be cheaper at the store.

Part of that is just the learning process. You will win some and lose some. Hopefully, I have more wins.

If it makes you feel any better, I just had that happen with mulch. I had gotten free mulch many times in the past from companies who cut trees and just wanted to dump the wood chips. I thought the mulch I was getting from a tree company was free, but after they had delivered it, I received a $100 bill for it. Talk about making a person sick to her stomach! I didn’t have $100 to waste on paid mulch even if I do love gardening but I just had to let it go and move on. I did ask God to cover it for me and He did! It was a mistake on my part so I didn’t feel right to have the company come and take it back. (Mike: But just as we were looking at the bill, two more trucks drove up and I explained the mistake and politely asked them not to deliver the two additional truckloads )

Don’t beat yourself up over it because it sounds like you are doing great!

      -Tawra

I have had that same thing happen to me. I have learned two important things from these experiences. The first is “practice makes perfect.” The more you do it, the more familiar you become with typical prices for various items. Second, it’s important to realize that it all works out well in the end. For all the “boo boos” I make, I still end up saving so much more in the long run going to garage sales, thrift stores and so on that the savings far outweigh the mistakes.

Here’s one thing that helps me: If I know I need something, I check out what it costs at a department store when I am there. Then I will have a better idea about what to pay at a thrift store. Of course, there are many things I can’t plan and I just have to use my experience to determine whether to take a chance on them.

Like Tawra said, you just have to move on and realize that we all make some bad choices shopping for brand new things, too, except when you’re buying new you are often losing even more money. It happens no matter where you shop.

      -Jill

One of the biggest ways to save is to anticipate what you’re going to need long before you need it, if possible. When you’re not in a hurry to have something now, you’ll have more opportunities to notice prices at other places and to get it at a better price. We especially try to do this with cars, but it applies equally to virtually everything.

Tawra starts looking for winter coats in the summer. She looks for the next larger sized shoes before the kids grow out of the old pairs. If she knows she is going to be painting a room a certain color, she starts looking for mis-mixes at the hardware store or paint that has been donated to the thrift store to see if they have the right color. If so, she can usually get it for a fourth of the price of buying it new. These are just a few examples of how planning ahead can help you save a lot!

      -Michael

For more easy and practical ways to save money and get out of debt, check out Dig out Of Debt.

photo by: awfulshot

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How To Have A Family Dinner With Kids

From: Kelly

I have been a reader for years now, and treasure your tips on living together simply as a family. I was wondering if you can offer some tips on *how* to have a family dinner? My husband and I are parents to a young toddler, and neither of us grew up with the kind of family togetherness that we would like to have for our son.

The problem is that we’re running into dead ends as to how to have a family dinner effectively and (most of all!) simply. If we look to having "simple" meals we find them to be more expensive (Meat, 2 vegetables, etc.) or we just throw a bowl of pasta and veggies together (read: fattening!).

What kind of meals should we have or prepare with a toddler, or should we have our own and try to expose him to new kinds of foods if he does not like them?

Right now our boy can’t use silverware and we find that only one of us is eating, the other is assisting him, and the timing is all off. How do we eat as a family when someone needs assistance?

Are there any good mealtime prayers you can offer?

Should we prepare our meals on the weekends or is there something quick and nutritious we can just throw together on a weeknight when we have 2 hours of family time?

Above all, what is the best way to involve everyone in cleanup?

First, you have to understand you have a toddler. Dinner won’t be same until your toddler is at least three or four years old. I have four kids and honestly have yet to have a relaxing "simple" family dinner. I have no clue what people are talking about when they say they "want" a family dinner. To me, a family dinner with kids is just nothing but chaos. Having said that, my kids are spread out, so we have had to help someone at dinner for more than 11 years now. It is much better to get them to sit down and eat a meal than to graze all evening.

So yes, sit down and have dinner with him or her, but you will have to plan to help out for now.

Feed your child what you are eating. Just cut it up and make smaller pieces/portions.

I’m not sure I understand why simple meals are more expensive. Most dinners for me NEVER cost more than $7 to feed 6 and usually dinner costs around $5 for the entire meal, not per person. If you need some ideas check out the easy menus on our website.

As far as a prayer, we just pray as we feel led. You can look up "meal prayers" on Google and find some very good ones if you want to have the same blessing each meal. We did that growing up and here’s the one we said:

We thank you Lord for this our food for sun and rainy weather,
We thank you Lord for health and home and that we are together. Amen.

Yes, cook food and use it more than once. I cook a roast and will use it for three or four meals. I make several meals out of a chicken, too.

To clean, it works well of one person clears and wipes the table and the other one washes the dishes. Switching who does which job every so often is helpful. Now that my kids are older, each one takes seven things off the table. Then one clears what’s left, one wipes the table and the other loads the dishwasher. I have them rotate tasks each week so they all have an equal share.

I hope that gives you some ideas.

      -Tawra

Photo By: Chris Isherwood

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What can the average American do to save money?

I had a reporter from CBS News call me today asking how average people who are living paycheck to paycheck can get a savings account going.

I told her that one of the first things they can do is stop eating out. She later told me, "Well, you hear the stop eating out thing all the time. I want to know what normal, average people can do to save money who are living paycheck to paycheck."

Most "normal and average" middle class Americans who are having to live paycheck to paycheck aren’t doing so because of something unpreventable like medical costs. They are doing it because they are spending more than they earn on stuff they don’t need.

What are some of the areas where you can save?

Stop eating your way into debt! Yes, families do spend literally THOUSANDS of dollars a year eating out. Add it up. You will be shocked. If you only go out once a week you will spend almost $3,000 in one year. We had one reader email and say she and her husband stopped eating out and saved $22,000 in one year!!!

Too much stuff. Stop shopping. I spend $350 a year on clothes for our entire family. How many clothes do we need? We don’t need that many clothes and I buy most of our clothes at thrift stores and yard sales. Stop shopping just to have something to do.

Too many activities. It’s not abnormal now for people to have kids in two or three activities per week each. That’s crazy! Let them do ONE and one only. You will save money on the fees, gas driving there and eating out because you "don’t have time". The "average" family will spend $300-$500 a month on activities for just one child.

Groceries- Do you buy a bunch of junk food you don’t need? I spend $350-$400 a month on groceries. The "average" family spends $500-$900 a month, not including what they spend eating out.

Cars- Stop buying new cars you can’t afford. Why are you buying a car for $30,000 when you earn that amount in a year? Add up the interest, extra insurance and taxes. It does add up to that much. If you can’t pay cash, you shouldn’t buy a brand new car.

Treats- You don’t need a Starbucks coffee or other "treat" every day.

Housing- Why do you have a 3000 square foot house for a family of four? Get something smaller that you can afford and doesn’t cost as much to heat.

Now, you may not be in this boat and if you’re not then congratulations, but a LOT of middle class paycheck to paycheck Americans are. It’s time to stop whining about the "bad economy" and start taking some responsibility for your finances.

      -Tawra

photo by: Molly DG

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Hello, Tawra and Jill!

I love your site and have been checking it every day for the past 4 years. My hubby and I are thrilled to have learned we are 6 weeks pregnant. We are ready and feel that we have prepared our budget for baby, but I was hoping you may have some interesting or frugal tips for a first-time mother. Of course, I have the urge to go buy everything new, but I am determined to fight it!! Any advice you could post or put together, even if it’s in your blog or as an article would be greatly appreciated.

Your frugal friend and EXCITED first-time mom,
Jessica

The best thing I did was buy everything at yard sales and thrift stores. There is a ton of new stuff at these places from people who get way too many baby gifts.

When I had my first, I think we spent about $200 total on everything. Family gave us a crib and we bought a new car seat for $60-$80 (I don’t remember for sure– it’s been 10 years.:-) Everything else, including all the cloth diaper supplies, were bought at yard sales.

I had to re-buy everything when my 3rd and 4th were born so I went though it again and it still wasn’t more than a couple hundred dollars if that much.

The thing is, even though it would be fun to buy all brand new stuff, they grow out of it so fast that you hardly get to use some things! I mean really fast! We’re talking just a couple of weeks and they can be in a different size. I know people who have spent thousands on baby stuff, some of which they never used because the baby was born so big!

We chose not to spend that much so we can give our kids a secure home with the bills paid where we aren’t fighting over money. We would rather that they have loving and kind parents who are not stressed over money than to give them a bunch of stuff they won’t even remember.

Save the money for when they get older. Then you can buy them a few new gifts and they will appreciate it more.

      -Tawra

Tips from a grandma

Babies really need much less than what you think. My first baby (Tawra) was born in the heat of the summer. All she needed was a onesie or a t-shirt. I had a few cute dresses and outfits for church but we weren’t going out that often so I didn’t need much. Decide what you need for clothes and the cut it in half. You will probably be doing a load of laundry every day anyway so most things will be clean for the next day.

You don’t really need a crib when they are first born. My son slept in a borrowed bassinet for 6 months and we could have put him in a large box the first couple of months if we had needed to. Tawra’s kids have slept in a playpen until they were almost 2 (She’s never had room for a crib).

I never had a changing table or anything like that. If things are tight, you can do without a lot.

A new baby doesn’t need any toys at all. The one thing I suggest is that a mobile makes a great gift for grandparents or favorite aunts or uncles to get for the baby. A mobile is great for baby’s crib and/or over the changing table because they like to look at the things that hang from it. 

I suggest that you get only the basics like a car seat, diapers and a small amount of clothes and blankets. Then get the rest after baby comes and you have a better idea what you really need.

For more tips to help you save money on kids’ expenses, check out our Saving With Kids e-books.

      -Jill

photo by: normanack

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This was a comment on our tithing post that I thought everyone would like to read.

Do you have any advice for someone who grew up in a non-Christian home where finances were never discussed let alone tithing, who became a Christian and began working? After having a family, I learned more about tithing but now the budget is waaaaay too tight! In fact, the savings & income are dwindling with the economy so it’s going from tight to not enough. Any advice on tithing? Tina

Tina, tithing like so many things in a Christian’s life usually boils down to faith. Do I trust God? If we really logically thought about it, it doesn’t make sense – we trust Him to provide someplace unbelievable and special like Heaven for us but we can’t trust Him to provide groceries for us next week or pay our mortgage.

We often trust our employer more than God. Don’t we have faith that that employer is going to give us our paycheck at the end of each week? He is human but yet we trust him and take him at his word that he will pay us.

One of the great stories of faith is of Peter walking on the water (Matt. 14:29). It took a lot of faith to get out of the boat and walk to Christ, but there are a couple of things to note about that story. In vs. 27, Jesus said “Take courage….Don’t be afraid” before Peter started because He knew how easily we are frightened and encouraged us to do the right thing anyway. The other thing to note is that Peter only started sinking when he took his eyes off of Jesus and started looking at the storms (financial problems?) blowing all around him.

In the same way, Jesus commanded Peter to come to Him and Peter obeyed in spite of the storms blowing all around. We need to do the same when God commands us to do something – even in spite of the storms we feel are causing us to sink.

We should do it not because God will strike us with lightning if we don’t (no, He won’t) but because we love Him and have faith that He will take care of the other things. Tithing in one way has nothing to do with money but with our hearts. In any relationship, whether with a spouse, child or friend there is a need for each person to love and to sacrifice to make it work… to have complete trust in the other person.

In a way we are telling God we don’t trust Him to help us or take care of us. How that must break His heart in the same way our heart would break if our child or spouse would tell us (if not in words, in actions) “I don’t trust you or have faith in you that you will help me or do what is best for me.” I know I break God’s heart and hurt Him so often with things I don’t realize I am doing that if I have anything I can do to show my love I jump right on it and tithing is one of those things.

Is there any place in your finances you would be willing to make a real sacrifice so you can tithe? Be brave and next paycheck, just take 10% off of the top and see if the rest of your bills don’t get paid anyway. I personally would use my savings. Are you trusting in the savings to see you through more than God? These are all things to think about. These are all ways to stretch our faith and to grow.

I know it is scary to step out and start doing that, which is why Jesus said "Do not be afraid," but once you do, you can’t believe what comes after that. You will have very little to fear in your life once you find that God really does take care of us no matter what.

My finances and my needs being met never work out on paper. Most people who tithe will tell you the same thing. I don’t know how it happens- it just does. Bottom line – tithing has nothing to do with money, only with faith.

Jill

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Here are some "Short Answers" to some of the questions readers have submitted to Tawra and Jill:

Jill from Michigan asks:

"Tawra – I read your information of cloth diapering and I’m wondering how much vinegar you wash them with and do you use special laundry soap?"

I put in about 1/2 – 1 cup in and don’t use a special detergent.

Janel From New Jersey asks:

"Hi! What can I use to clean wooden kitchen cabinets? Some of them are sticky and greasy (especially over the stove). Thanks, Janel"

I use Murphy’s Oil Soap. You can find it in the cleaning section of the store. Tawra

I use Dow foaming bathroom cleaner. I spray it on the gook literally rolls off. I once had to clean a house in which the cabinets were covered in a thick gummy layer from having a heavy smoker in the house and the Dow just bubbled it right off. I use it more in my kitchen for all grease then I do in my bathroom. Be sure to wipe dry when you are done. Jill

Nancy from Ellinwood, Kansas asks:

"Can you use canned pumpkin to make your pumpkin pancakes, sauce, etc?"

You sure can! It works great!

Mollie From Florida asks:

"What is the difference in types of powered sugar? Usually the recipes call for powered sugar, but not what type. I bought 4x and someone told me that you should only use 10X."

If you are just doing baking at home it doesn’t really matter. Where it matters is for professional bakers who do fancy things like wedding cakes. Whatever I find in the store works just fine for me. I have never had any problems with my baking because of it.

Denise From New York asks:

"Is it possible to freeze chili con carne? I am the only one in the household who eats it. I only make it a couple times in the crock pot because it can be expensive(because of the meat)."

Yes, you can. I just freeze mine in 2 cup portions in zip top bags or 2 cup plastic containers.

Elizabeth Asks:

"I put self-rising flour and all purpose flour in separate containers for storage, however I never marked them. Is there any way to tell which is which before I go to bake, like adding a little liquid to them? "

You might taste them. The self rising would have a bitter salty, baking powder taste to it.

Kathleen writes:

"I see tips frequently about how to re-use vacuum bags. Please remember that the bag is part of the filtration system, and will not work nearly as well after emptying it. You would be doing yourself, and your vacuum a favor by buying the cheap bags and changing them more often, rather than try to re-use them.

Thanks for the tip, Kathleen! We tried this once — ONLY ONCE. The resulting dust cloud quickly made us realize it was a a bad idea!

photo by: valeriebb

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Susan from Texas asks:

"As a single mother of two grown daughters, scratching and clawing my way out of substantial credit card and other debt, please give me some ideas about dealing with daughters’ emergencies, specifically health issues, not life-threatening but urgent never the less."

Tawra Wrote: I was going to work on your question but I was wondering why you are paying for your grown daughters’ medical expenses? Are they in college?

Susan: Thank you for your response, I forgot that I sent that question. But now that you mentioned it…my daughters work full time and dabble in college. Both have health insurance but the one who needed assistance (I volunteered) did not think that it was in effect at the time of the incident. I was going to have the cost of the dental problem put on a credit card but her Dad intervened and paid for it so I was off the hook.

I think the bigger question here is one that I have dealt with for many years and that is, living very sparingly, never having enough to cover unexpected expenses and then putting those unexpected and sometimes living above my means expenses on credit. Now that I live alone I am trying to remedy that as quickly as possible. Guilt as a single parent ends up being very expensive.

Tawra: "Guilt as a single parent ends up being very expensive." — I would say that sounds like it right there to me.

You don’t need to worry about your daughter’s expenses. I understand being a parent you want to help out but if they are working adults it’s not your responsibility. They need to be responsible with their money and save back money each month to cover what their insurance won’t . If that means cutting the cell phone, eating out or whatever then that’s their responsibility to do it. If you are paying for your own stuff then start living below your means ASAP and try and get that debt paid off. It’s not always easy or fun but it sounds like you need to worry about your expenses and not theirs right now.

I’m not saying to be unreasonable. If they get $50,000 in medical expenses and need to live with you or whatever to pay it off, of course help them out if you can. But if it’s minor stuff then let them take care of it.

Susan: Thanks so much for your response. Sometimes we answer our own problems when we put pen to paper and it jumps right back at us! I will always be there for my kids; however, I want them to grow up and become accountable and learn from their mistakes and life, etc.

photo by: quazie

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Lou from north Carolina asks:

Hi. I am recently living on my own with my two children, 15 & 12. I was married for 23 years and totally blown away when my husband asked for a separation. It was initiated by money problems. I made a big mistake by agreeing to file bankruptcy so my credit is shot. I don’t receive any child support and basically let him have everything. I thought we were going to work it out but we didn’t.

Your web site and cookbook have helped me tremendously. I am living very frugally now.

I have one big problem. I have a leased vehicle payment of $650 a month and two more years on the lease. I’m upside down in the lease as well. I would like to trade the van and buy something else. Something that I can pay for and keep for several years. Do I have to go back to the same dealership I leased the van from to trade it in? I have been unable to get a straight answer anywhere. I know they’re making money on me. Big money. But the $650 a month payment is killing me. Unfortunately, I don’t live near public transportation. I would appreciate any suggestions you could give me.

Hi Lou,

Unfortunately, we don’t have any experience with auto leases. Everything we have heard had sent up big red flags about avoiding getting into lease contracts, but since we don’t have any experience with them, I don’t know the best way to get out from under it if you are already committed.

In a perfect world, we’d probably try to get out of the lease as soon as possible. I looked at a little information on the Internet and it appears that most leases have a provision for early termination, but that the fee associated with that can be thousands of dollars. I would check your lease contract to see what it says about early termination.

If you want to trade the vehicle, I would avoid getting into another lease. It is possible that the dealership where you leased the car may waive the early termination fee if you trade for another vehicle with them. If they say they can do it, make sure that they’re not just taking the penalty and adding it to your new loan. If they do, you are not saving anything.

If you trade it at another dealership, they will probably do it, but I’d expect that they would pay off the lease termination fee and then add it to your new loan, meaning you’d be in the same dilemma for longer.

Read your lease to see what it says about early termination. It is possible that if you called them and explained your situation, they might let you out of it. I wouldn’t count on it, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask. If it costs you $1000 to break the lease, but you can get another vehicle that will cost you $250 per month, you’d save $400 per month and the $1000 would be paid after 2 1/2 months.

If you can get out of the lease, I’d try to buy a used car from another person and not from a dealership. Dealerships charge more (even for used cars) to cover their administrative costs.

Once you know what you’re up against, I’d do the math for all of the possible scenarios (i.e. keep the car until the lease expires, break the lease,pay the fees and buy an inexpensive used car, trade the leased car for the van you wanted, etc.) and see which one will end up costing you less.

I wish we could have given you more specific information, but as I mentioned we have no experience with car leases. It seems unnecessarily complicated (probably so you’re too confused to understand what they’re having you sign).

I hope this helps!

Michael

From: Dig Out Of Debt

photo by: zayzayem

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Leslie from Rhode Island asks:

Where do we begin to catch up on debt when we are behind three months on every day living such as mortgage, car payments, and utilities and IRS payments?

Jill: It is hard to give specific answers to your question without knowing more details about all of your finances. Here are some general suggestions about a couple of things that you mentioned. Some of these ideas may seem drastic, but if you are three months behind on everything including the IRS then you need to take a very honest and serious look at your spending habits.

In order to catch up on past due bills, you not only have to live within your income, you have to live below your income. It may be painful, but you have to figure out how to live below your income at least long enough to pay the past due bills and then to keep current on all of your bills.

If you can’t keep up with your mortgage, then no matter how much you love your home you may have to sell it for something less expensive. The same goes for your cars. You could try to get by with one car. That may not be as impossible as it sounds. My son and his wife both work and often only have one car. She found she could switch to evening hours at her job for a while until they could get another car. One spouse may have to take the other to work for a while. This may not be convenient, but declaring bankruptcy isn’t really handy either. Besides, if you declared bankruptcy and still spent more than your income, you’d end up with the same problem all over again. You could also sell you cars and get less expensive/used cars with smaller payments.

Cut back on utilities as much as possible. There have been times where I couldn’t run my air conditioner or I just used it when it became unbearable. Notice that I said unbearable, not uncomfortable. There’s a difference. Stop watering your yard. If your lawn dies, it dies. What would you rather have? Bills that are paid, no financial stress and a dead yard or lots of debt and stress and a nice green yard? I know it seems like there is no way out but it really is doable. Remember, you can’t spend more then you earn. Start thinking about each item you buy. Is that item really a need or just a want? Most Americans have a difficult time telling the difference between needs and wants. Do you really NEED it or do you just WANT it?

From: Dig Out Of Debt

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Hope from New Jersey writes:

I definitely can relate to living on a low income. I just paid off $3000 debt in less than a year playing the credit card game, making some financial sacrifices and getting a windfall. I love using a credit card (I only have one now with a $400 credit limit), but being in debt like that scares me. I don’t want to go back to that again. I’m thinking about getting rid of the card, but then what will I do to build a good credit history? I’m also afraid that I might need it one day. (I’m living on a low income with one special needs child and one child that’s not.) Should I keep my credit card or get rid of it?

Tawra: Hope, we would suggest that you keep your credit card. Here’s why: Credit cards aren’t the problem –it’s self control that’s the problem. You sound like you have your spending under control, so I would suggest that you keep the card.

I would use it for convenience when you know you have the money to pay it. Keeping a credit card is good for things like making online orders or for getting gas when you don’t have time to go to the bank and withdraw the cash. As long as you have the money to cover the charge and you don’t spend it on something else before you pay your credit card bill, you should be fine.

Then pay it off each month so that you can build your credit. They are very handy to have around for those types of things. If you need a way to keep track of what you put on it just write it down in your check register and put a C in the left column so you know that is what was put on the credit card. This is also a handy way to double check and make sure they charged you correctly.

A credit card can also help with emergencies, but you have to be careful what constitutes an emergency. If you use the card for an emergency, you have to expect to plan to sacrifice somewhere else to cover the emergency, but it sounds like you’ve already experienced this.

This part is not really directed at you, Hope, but for other readers who are reading:

Regarding emergencies, going out to eat or taking a vacation because you’re under stress is not an emergency. An emergency is something like a life and death hospital emergency, fixing the only car you have so you can go to work and earn money, etc. Keep in mind that even "emergencies" have to be paid for eventually!

If you feel that you don’t have control of your spending, I would suggest only keeping a credit card for true emergencies.

As for you, Hope, it sounds like you have done very well and are on your way to being permanently debt free. Congratulations on your hard work!

From: Dig Out Of Debt

photo by: kanir

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